THURSDAY, July 27 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, July 27, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CREME BRULEE DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“Creme brulee is also known as burnt cream, crema catalana and Trinity creme. It is a dessert that consists of a rich custard base that is topped with a contrasting layer of hard caramel and served at room temperature. The custard base is usually vanilla flavored but has variations of: lemon, orange, rosemary, lavender, chocolate, Amaretto, Grand Marnier, cinnamon, coffee, liqueurs, green tea, pistachio, hazelnut, coconut or other fruit. The earliest known reference of creme brulee, as we know it today, appears in Francois Massialot’s 1691 cookbook.”

NATIONAL INTERN DAY

NATIONAL SCOTCH DAY

TAKE YOUR HOUSEPLANT FOR A WALK DAY

WALK ON STILTS DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, July 27

“Twisted Metal”
Peacock – New Series
Synopsis: High-octane comedy based on the PlayStation game series. A motor-mouthed outsider is offered a chance at a better life, but only if he can successfully deliver a mysterious package across a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Season Premieres:
Max – “Harley Quinn”
Netflix – “The Witcher: Season 3 Volume 2”

FRIDAY, July 28

Season Premieres:
HBO – “How To with John Wilson”
Hulu – “This Fool”
Prime Video – “Good Omens”
Starz – “Heels”

SUNDAY, July 30

Season Premiere:
AMC – “Dark Winds”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “If You Sleep With Wet Hair, We Have Some News For You’”
2. “Test Your Microwave’s Strength With Cheese Slices”
3. “Mushroom Castles Could Be The Fungus-Filled Homes Of The Future”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “The History Of Bananas Is More Disturbing Than You Might Have Realized”

JOB DEAL BREAKERS

Reddit asked, “What job would a man have that would be an automatic deal breaker for you?” Some of the responses:
– “Life coach. He’d say the most mundane garbage and expect me to shower him with thanks and praise.”
– “Police officer or circus performer. Have dated both. Would never date either again.”
– “Debt collector.”
– “Car salesman.”
– “An influencer. You become a cameraman.”
– “TikTokker. I matched with one on Tinder once. Huge jerk. When I turned down his offer to hook up, he said, ‘Do you know who I am?!’ And went on this huge spiel about how famous he was.”
– “Anything in the religious world, or a drug dealer.”
– “Chef, DJ, or politician.” (* I’m sorry, can you go back one?)
– “I would ALWAYS swipe left, during my dating years, on any dude with ‘Entrepreneur’ as his occupation. Hard nope.”
– “Professional video game player.”
– “Male stripper.”
– “Sumo wrestler.”
– “Gynecologist.”
– “Ladies, find yourself a Truck Driver. We make the best partner.. You miss us, we come back, we start to annoy you when we are home, we leave again.”
* I guess “Actually, I’m unemployed right now” wasn’t an option.
* Of course, the best job would be Trust Fund Brat.
* How about Reddit Content Moderator?
* This is brutal. The only professions left are electrician, librarian and pool lifeguard.
* PHONE TOPIC: Ladies, is there a profession that’s a dealbreaker for you? Why?

IS YOUR NEIGHBOR A SERIAL KILLER? HERE’S A HANDY CHECKLIST!

The New York Post has published an article titled Is Your Neighbor A Serial Killer? In light of the alleged Gilgo Beach killer Rex Heuermann, here are the warning signs, according to Dr. Carole Lieberman, who has served as an expert witness at murder trials:
– Having an unkempt house, and a sloppy, overgrown yard.
– A house being dimly lit and having a tool shed.
– A homeowner who keeps odd hours and is digging, doing yardwork or gardening at night.
– A “hair-trigger” temper that switches between excessive bursts of aggression to a cold and emotionless persona. Lieberman says, “Serial killers often do have hair-trigger tempers because, for one thing, they’re holding in so much.”
– They don’t volunteer much about their lives to people around them.
* So all you serial killers out there – get to work on your home’s curb appeal.
* Yard, tool shed, digging … What – serial killers never live in apartments?
* I WISH I had a serial killer living next to me, instead of the guy with the barking dogs.
* Oh, come on. What are the odds of having two serial killers living next door to each other? Wait – was that out loud?

U.S. NEWS

MAN CAUGHT WITH METHBURGER

45-year-old Timothy Nolen of Killen, Alabama, was pulled over by deputies on Saturday while driving on the highway. Authorities determined that he was driving with a revoked license and initiated the procedure to impound his vehicle. During the incident, though, Nolen kept mentioning the hamburger sitting in his car, and how hungry he was, and how he just wanted to eat his hamburger. Cops retrieved the burger, but before giving it to Mr. Nolen they performed a burger search. Packed onto the patty was a small bag of methamphetamine. Nolen was also charged with unlawful possession of a controlled substance.
* “This is a search! Spread those buns, citizen!”
* There’s fast food, and then there’s speed food.
* On the bright side, the meth guarantees you’ll burn up the calories from the hamburger.
* I always order my burgers with meth on the side.

MUSTARD SKITTLES

In celebration of National Mustard Day on August 5, Skittles candy has partnered with French’s mustard to make its first-ever mustard-flavored skittle. Imagine “tangy mustard flavor” combined with “iconic chewy texture.” But despite my reading this press release of a news item, don’t expect it to see it on store shelves. It will only be available from the French’s Mustard Mobile in three US cities: Atlanta on July 31, Washington on August 2 and New York on August 5.
* So why am I reading this? What am I supposed to do with this information? Go buy some Skittles that aren’t mustard flavored? Is this how marketing works these days: “We’ve got a new product, but you can’t buy it. Go buy our old crap.”?
* Eight billion people in the world, and they made enough for about 12.
* Put the mustard Skittles on a Gummi hot dog.
* If they had any class, they’d use Dijon.
* Now I’ve got a hankering for chewy mustard.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CHINESE MAN KEPT SEVEN COWS ON HIS APARTMENT BALCONY

A Chinese man in Sichuan province was busted for trying to keep seven young cows on his fifth floor apartment balcony. A neighbor in the building said the cattle were only on the premises for a day before neighbors became annoyed by their mooing and foul smell, and alerted authorities (* Sounds like they had a real beef). The animals were removed by urban management officials on July 14. Since then, the man has repeatedly tried to sneak them back into the apartment. Back in January, a resident of the apartment complex complained that many households were raising chickens in their units. The residential compound houses people resettled from nearby rural villages, which might explain the appearance of livestock.
* And yet, here in America, we’re screaming for locally sourced food.
* I’m sure the guy saw the balcony and immediately thought: “Hey – free corral!”
* What did he do with all the waste? “Hello, maintenance? My toilet is backed up…all the way into the kitchen.”
* Tried to sneak them back in. By dressing them as maintenance workers.
* Dummy! He should have gotten the neighbors on his side by giving them free milk.
* Seven cows, because eight would just be crazy.

TRENDING

SINEAD O’CONNOR DIES AT 56

Sinéad O’Connor, the Irish singer who made headlines in the ’90s for songs including ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ and ripping up a photo of the Pope John Paul II on “Saturday Night Live,” has died at the age of 56. She most recently sang the theme for Starz series “Outlander.” The singer had gone through very public mental health issues in recent years. O’Connor is survived by her three children. Her son, Shane, died last year at age 17.

KEVIN SPACEY FOUND NOT GUILTY

Actor Kevin Spacey was found not guilty on Wednesday by a jury in a London court of a series of sexual assaults against several accusers. Spacey, 64, had pleaded not guilty to the charges of sexual assault. Prosecutors had sought during the trial to label Spacey as a “sexual bully,” and the actor took the stand to defend himself.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Taylor Schilling (actress, “Orange is the New Black”) … 39
Jonathan Rhys Meyers (actor, “Vikings,” “Dracula”) … 46
Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez (former pro baseball player) … 48
Maya Rudolph (actress, comedian, “Loot,” “The Good Place”) … 51
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (actor, Jaime Lannister on “Game of Thrones”) … 53
Stacy Dean Campbell (country singer) … 56

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I actually like pole dancing! It gives you so much confidence. I never thought I’d do it, but now I’m really into it.”

(A) Nancy Pelosi
(B) Ellen DeGeneres
(C) Taylor Schilling

ANSWER: (C) Taylor Schilling

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 – It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.) that there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to trawl the loch. Reports of sightings of the “Loch Ness Monster” began in the 6th century.
* Next up – Bigfoot.

1953 – The Korean War officially ended with the signing of an armistice.
* “Armistice” means we didn’t exactly win, but we made a ton of money later with M*A*S*H.

1940 – Bugs Bunny made his official movie debut in the Warner Brothers cartoon “A Wild Hare.”
* After that, his appearances multiplied like crazy.

1909 – Orville Wright tested the first US Army airplane, flying for over an hour.
* Is this where the expression came from about test pilots having the “Wright” stuff?

1888 – Philip Pratt unveiled the first electric automobile.
* Since it would be an economical, non-polluting design that would wrest control of the economy from Big Oil, he was never heard from again.

1866 – The Atlantic Telegraph Cable was laid.
* Coincidentally, 1866 was also about the last time our station manager was laid.

1789 – Congress established the Department of Foreign Affairs.
* Based on Ben Franklin’s reports on how hot the French women were.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Amy Winehouse’s ex-boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil made legal claim for a £1million cut of the deceased singer’s fortune. Fielder-Civil told Amy’s family his lawyers said he had a valid claim because he was with her for six years during which she released some of her best-selling material. The family replied by saying he’s spent a lot of their marriage in prison, bringing nothing but pain to everyone and to give him another penny would be too much.

2006 – Remember the file-sharing software Kazaa? An estimated 400 million computer users used it to download music over the Internet. On this date in 2006, the company that produced it, Sharman Networks, agreed to pay more than $115 million to music companies to settle global piracy lawsuits.

2002 – Mariah Carey checked herself into an undisclosed hospital suffering from “extreme exhaustion.” The singer canceled all public appearances, including her headlining appearance at MTV’s 20th birthday party. Her record company denied tabloid reports that Carey tried to commit suicide, saying she did have cuts on her body, but the injuries were unintentional after breaking some dishes and glasses.

1989 – Michael Jackson sued Britain’s Daily Mirror for libel after they printed a less than flattering color photo of the ever-changing singer on the front page. The case was settled for undisclosed terms.

1986 – Queen became the first western act since Louis Armstrong in 1964 to perform in Eastern Europe when they played in Hungary. The gig was filmed and released as “Queen Magic in Budapest.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. THESE are in almost every home now, but they first appeared in 1865. What are they?
Ceiling fans

2. 65% of American homes have one of THESE, though they’re rarely used. What is it?
A cassette player

3. Only 2% of homes in America do not have one of THESE. What is it?
A screwdriver

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