FAMILY FINDS RUNAWAY TORTOISE AFTER TWO YEARS

A tortoise has turned up two years after it went missing from its home. Jemima the tortoise, age 50, managed to escape from the home of Charles Waddell in May 2021, leaving the man’s eight-year-old daughter, Beatrice, devastated. The family, of Haydon Bridge, Northumberland, England, spent months looking for Jemima every day, as well as posting about her on social media. Eventually, the family gave up, until a Facebook post surfaced last week about the discovery of a tortoise. Somebody remembered the Waddell’s missing tortoise from two years ago and alerted them. She had been found at an equestrian center around five miles away. A farmer had found her in a field and took her to a vet, who then put word out over social media that he had found a tortoise. The family is thrilled to have Jemima back, saying she will live with her tortoise friend Georgina “in a secure and upgraded pen.”
* Two? You’ve got one boring pet, so you go out and buy another?
* Five miles in two years? It must have hitchhiked.
* Georgina wanted to know all about Jemima’s adventures for two years, so Jemima told her. Took about three minutes.
* Jemima must be so exhausted from her journey, she’s just going to sleep for, oh, the next twenty years or so. And nobody will know the difference.
* I’ve heard of a slow news day, but this is a ‘slow’ news story.