FRIDAY, Apr 28 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, April 28, 2023
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BIOLOGICAL CLOCK DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“There’s much more to the ‘biological clock’ than that last minute urge to make babies that supposedly kicks in at a certain point in a woman’s life. For a start, both men and women have a biological clock, and it affects their behavior and mood on a daily basis. It maintains a sleep-wake pattern that fits in with the light and dark of a day on Earth. More formally known as the circadian rhythm, it monitors light, temperature and other environmental factors to influence things like alertness, energy levels, hunger and motivation. The technology of today’s world can upset the balance of the biological clock, so celebrate Biological Clock Day by setting aside some time to re-regulate it; create a regular bedtime routine, minimize naps and eat regularly.”

GREAT POETRY READING DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Great Poetry Reading Day is in honor of some really great verse. There’s lots of poetry out there. Some is good, and some is not so good. Today is intended to read the world’s greatest poetry. Celebrate today in any or all of the following ways:
Read poetry
Hold a poetry reading hour or party
Listen to poetry
Write your own poetry … someday it may be looked upon as great!”

KISS YOUR MATE DAY

NATIONAL BLUEBERRY PIE DAY

NATIONAL BULLDOGS ARE BEAUTIFUL DAY

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

THE BUZZ

YOU’LL SLEEP BETTER WITH YOUR PARTNER’S T-SHIRT

A study by researchers from the University of British Columbia, Canada, says you’ll sleep better if you sleep with your partner’s t-shirt. The study recruited 155 participants and gave them two identical-looking t-shirts to use as pillowcases. One of the t-shirts had been worn by their romantic partner for a period of 24 hours in order to capture their body scent. The other t-shirt had either been worn by a stranger or was clean. The participants were asked to sleep with each t-shirt over their pillow for two consecutive nights without knowing which was which. Their sleep quality was measured using an actigraphy sleep watch, which detects movement throughout the night. The next morning, participants were asked to fill in a survey saying how well rested they felt. When the participants slept with their partner’s t-shirt they experienced better sleep quality, sleeping for an average of nine minutes more, even though their partner was not there.
* The study will be published in next month’s issue of “Scientific Ew, Gross”.
* Imagine how well-rested you’d feel with a whole extra nine minutes of sleep.
* What if your romantic partner wears a bra instead of a t-shirt?
* I’d lose more than 9 minutes of sleep if I had to lie there sniffing a stranger’s armpit.
* This explains why those University of British Columbia researchers keep snagging all the Nobel Prizes.

U.S. NEWS

7TH GRADER GRABS STEERING WHEEL WHEN SCHOOL BUS DRIVER PASSES OUT

In Warren Michigan, a 7th-grade student is being hailed as a hero after the driver of his school bus lost consciousness on Wednesday, and he jumped behind the wheel. The boy, being identified just by his first name, Dillon, was able to bring the bus to a safe stop. School district Superintendent Robert Livernois posted, “The actions of the student who helped stop the bus made all the difference today, and I could not be prouder of his efforts.”
* …despite Dillon taking his classmates for a five mile joyride before stopping.
* To be fair, Dillon’s hundreds of hours playing Grand Theft Auto helped.
* Just for good measure, he yelled, “Get your butts back in those seats or I’m stopping this bus!”
* The bus driver’s okay, but they did dock his paycheck for time off.
* Dillon sounds like a hero and everything, but just to note: as I remember from my school bus days, the cool kids sit in the back.

WOMAN CLAIMS DISNEY’S BIG THUNDER MOUNTAIN HELPED HER PASS A KIDNEY STONE

A New Jersey woman named Step Fallon posted a TikTok video claiming the Big Thunder Mountain rollercoaster at Disney World helped her pass a kidney stone. She has been suffering from kidney stones and while researching cures online found that many articles mentioned riding the Big Thunder Mountain coaster at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. She booked a day trip to Orlando, and rode it twice, in the very back row as the internet recommended. Heading back to the airport she was in a lot of pain. She returned home at midnight, went to bed, and woke up the next morning to find that she had passed the kidney stone. Turns out, a 2016 Michigan State study claims that getting on Big Thunder Mountain helped patients pass kidney stones nearly 70% of the time. Professor emeritus David Wartinger, who led the study, said he had patients crediting kidney stone passing to Big Thunder at Disney World. One patient said he passed three different stones after riding multiple times. To put this theory to the test, the professor filled 3-D models of kidneys with replica kidney stones and then rode the Thunder Mountain railroad over 20 times. He found that he indeed expelled kidney stones in seven out of 10 attempts provided he sat in the last car. He tried the same experiment on Space Mountain and other rollercoasters but said that “Big Thunder Mountain was the only one that worked.”
* Also, the Dumbo ride cures Addison’s Disease.
* And you thought the screaming on the roller coaster was because of the excitement.
* Who invented this cure? Doc from the Seven Dwarfs?
* This is great and all, but having actual surgery would be half the cost of a day ticket to Disney World.
* If you’re in a lot of pain, go ride “It’s a Small Word” first, which will put you in a semi-comatose state.
* I hear some of the Disney princess characters can cure erectile dysfunction.

WOMAN KILLS PARROT WITH GLOCK

A Largo, Florida woman has been ordered to have “no contact with animals” after shooting and killing her pet parrot with a Glock handgun during a fight with her husband. Police say Suzanne Mulalley, 62, was drunk and fighting with her husband when she killed the African grey parrot with the .380 caliber handgun. Both Mulalley and her husband were charged with domestic battery.
* Now THAT is an ex-parrot.
* Polly want a Kevlar.
* She didn’t even give the parrot a warning shot?
* If only the parrot hadn’t taken the husband’s side.
* No contact with animals. Guns, fine, just no animals.

JENNY CRAIG WEIGHT-LOSS COMPANY WARNS OF LAYOFFS

The Jenny Craig weight-loss company has alerted employees to potential mass layoffs as it hunts for a buyer. The company has been going through a sales process for the last couple of months seeking somebody to take it over. Several current Jenny Craig staffers say that the company alerted them in recent days about potential layoffs. In a memo, the company wrote, “We would suggest that you anticipate that your employment may be impacted and begin to seek other employment.”
* So there aren’t enough overweight people now? Wasn’t that the point of Jenny Craig?
* You helped people lose the pounds, now you’ve got to pound the pavement.
* When a diet company can’t make money in America, you know there’s a problem.
* Is it really so ironic to see a diet company trim the fat?
* Just call it getting rid of dead weight.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WOMAN SEES PRINCESS DIANA IN HAM SLICE

A British woman opened a pack of sliced sandwich ham and saw the face of the late Princess Diana – in a blemished spot on the ham. 36-year-old Hattie Osma bought the lunch meat to make sandwiches for work, but was “shocked” to see the princess staring back at her. One co-worker offered her £30 for the slice. She turned them down. Ms. Osma says she will try and see if it can be preserved for display in her house.
* First of all, if she’s eating blemished ham, she could be hallucinating with food poisoning.
* She knows it’s Princess Diana because she went on to make the sandwiches and, despite starting with only a half a jar, she never ran out of mayonnaise. The Miracle of the Hellmann’s, they call it.
* She can hang it next to her portrait of Lord Mountbatten in head cheese.
* How do we know the ham isn’t just good at doing impressions?
* The royal ham is a royal scam.

TRENDING

TOP SONGS TO SING ALONG WITH IN THE CAR

According to a poll of 2,000 drivers in the United Kingdom from automaker Fiat, here are the Top 30 Songs People Like To Sing Along With In The Car:
Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
Abba – Dancing Queen
Bon Jovi – Livin’ on a Prayer
Neil Diamond – Sweet Caroline
Meatloaf – Bat out of Hell
Fleetwood Mac – Go Your Own Way
The Killers – Mr Brightside
Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire
Pharrell Williams – Happy
Bruce Springsteen – Born to Run
Spandau Ballet – Gold
The Beatles – Hey Jude
Fleetwood Mac – The Chain
The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men
Culture Club – Karma Chameleon
Rod Stewart – Maggie May
Dire Straits – Money for Nothing
Taylor Swift – Shake It Off
Steppenwolf – Born to be Wild
Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Take That – Never Forget
Bryan Adams – Run to You
Petula Clark – Downtown
Fleetwood Mac – Dreams
David Bowie – Let’s Dance
David Bowie – Heroes
Lady GaGa – Poker Face
Rihanna – Umbrella
Beyoncé – Single Ladies
Duran Duran – Rio

JERRY SPRINGER DEAD

TV talk show host Jerry Springer has died. He was 79. He died Thursday morning, peacefully at his home in the Chicago area. Jerry hosted “The Jerry Springer Show” for 27 years, which was known for encouraging guests to fight and throw chairs. In addition to the talk show, Springer was elected to Cincinnati’s City Council in 1971, and became the city’s mayor in 1977, where he served one term. Jerry’s last TV appearance came last season on “The Masked Singer” where he performed as “The Beetle.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Jessica Alba (actress) … 42
Drew and Jonathan Scott (HGTV’s “The Property Brothers”) … 45
Penelope Cruz (actress) … 49
Jay Leno (comedian, ex-host of “The Tonight Show,” “Jay Leno’s Garage”) … 73
Ann-Margret (actress) … 82

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Politics is just show business for ugly people.”

(A) Senator Mitch McConnell
(B) Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi
(C) Jay Leno

ANSWER: (C) Jay Leno

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2001 – A Russian rocket lifted off from Central Asia bearing the first space tourist, California businessman Dennis Tito, and two cosmonauts on a journey to the international space station.
* Tito said it was great, except he complained about the leg room in tourist class.

1992 – The Agriculture Department unveiled the now-famous pyramid-shaped recommended-diet chart.
* Which we don’t follow, resulting in our bodies being pyramid-shaped – really, really wide when you get to our bottoms.

1965 – U.S. President Lyndon Johnson ordered 22,000 American troops into the Dominican Republic to stop “a communist dictatorship” from taking hold – most of LBJ’s suspected “communists” turned out to be imaginary.
* What a coincidence – Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction turned out to be imaginary, too.

1965 – Heavyweight boxing champ Muhammad Ali refused induction into the Army on religious grounds.
* “Sorry – but I can only attack my fellow man in the ring for money.”

1947 – Explorer Thor Heyerdahl left Peru on a small balsa wood raft named the “Kon-Tiki,” sailing thousands of miles over 101 days to Polynesia to show that South Pacific islanders probably migrated from South America.
* I think in English “Kon-Tiki” means “Freakin’ Crazy.”

1919 – The first parachute jump was made over Dayton, Ohio.
* The jumper celebrated with a glass of champagne and a change of underwear.

1789 – The famous “mutiny on the Bounty” took place when a rebel crew took over the British ship HMS Bounty, set its Captain Bligh adrift, and set sail to Pitcairn Island.
* Actually, as far as dissension in the ranks is concerned, that was nothing compared to our last staff meeting.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – Paul Simon and his wife Edie Brickell appeared in court after being arrested over a domestic dispute. The arrest came after a caller from the singers’ home phoned emergency services and then hung up. Simon told a Superior Court judge in Norwalk, Connecticut he had a rare argument with his wife on that Saturday night at their home and they were now fine.

2014 – Scorpions drummer James Kottak was sentenced to one month in jail in Dubai for offensive behavior after an incident at Dubai airport on April 3rd. He was convicted of insulting Islam, raising his middle finger and being under the influence of alcohol.

2008 – Scott Weiland, singer with The Stone Temple Pilots, was sentenced to 192 hours in county jail for his November 2007 drunk driving offense. He was also fined $2000, required to complete an 18-month alcohol program and was placed on probation for four years.

2004 – The iTunes Music Store marked its first anniversary with over 70 million songs sold.

2003 – Ozzy Osbourne’s son Jack was reported to be in rehab. The 17-year-old was a patient at Las Encinas Hospital in Pasadena, California.

2000 – A blaze swept through James Brown Enterprises, the office that co-ordinated the superstar’s tours. Nobody was injured, but memorabilia and live tapes were destroyed in the blaze. An employee was later arrested and charged with arson.

1999 – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

1991 – Singer, songwriter and guitarist Bonnie Raitt married actor Michael O’Keefe.

1990 – Guns N’ Roses leader Axl Rose married Erin Everly, daughter of The Everly Brothers’ Don at Cupid’s Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. They divorced in January, 1991 after a stormy nine months of marriage.

1990 – Sinead O’Connor started a six-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got.”

1979 – Blondie scored their first U.S. No.1 single with “Heart Of Glass.”

1973 – Pink Floyd’s album “Dark Side Of The Moon” went to No.1 on the U.S. chart. It went on to enjoy a record breaking 741 weeks on the charts, selling over 20 million copies world-wide.

1968 – The first rock-musical, “Hair,” opened at the Baltimore Theatre, New York. It went on to give 1,729 performances on Broadway and was made into a movie in 1979.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. One in 10 people who have done THIS, waited until they were 45 to do it. What is it?
Get a tattoo

2. 56% of tattoo artists have tattooed THIS on someone. What is it?
A butterfly

3. Almost 1/4 of everyone who gets THIS tattoo, wishes later they hadn’t gotten it. What is it?
A butterfly

(c) 2023
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111