FRIDAY, Mar 24 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, March 24, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL DAY FOR ACHIEVERS
The Target Study website says this:
“International Day for Achievers is observed every year on March 24th, to pay tribute to achievers in any field. These achievers can be Scientists, Doctors, Conservationists, Teachers, Social Workers etc. who have used their imagination and vision to ease or enhance the existence of humans.”

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE COVERED RAISIN DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day is a day to enjoy this tasty combination of chocolate and fruit. Chocolate lovers who like raisins find the combination simply irresistible. Kids find them irresistible, too. Are you watching your waistline? National Chocolate Raisin Day will not help you here. You’re on your own. Follow the Logic?: Chocolate is made from cocoa beans (a vegetable) and raisins are from grapes (a fruit). And, we all know that vegetables and fruit are good for you. Therefore, aren’t chocolate covered raisins good for you?”

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

THE BUZZ

THE PASSWORD CHILD

There’s a new theory going around TikTok called “The Password Child.” The theory is, you know who your parents’ favorite child is by which name they use for online passwords. If you want to watch your parent’s Netflix, but it’s logged out, then you ask “Hey, what’s the password” and then they say your name or one of your sibling’s names, and then whose ever name that is, is the favorite child.
* My parents’ password is the cat. What does that say about our family?
* It also could be a matter of which name is easier to spell.
* What if a family names one of their kids “Password”?
* I don’t know who the password child is in my family. I’m going to have to ask my brother, Kyle-Exclamation Point-Question Mark-7.
* Now, when you have a baby and you’re filling out the birth certificate, they tell you, “Name not strong enough.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Are you, or one of your siblings, the Password Child?

U.S. NEWS

MAN SPEEDS 100 MPH TO GET GIRLFRIEND TO TACO BELL JOB INTERVIEW

A Palm Bay, Florida driver reached 100 mph and swerved around a police officer in a no-passing zone as he was rushing his girlfriend to a job interview at a Taco Bel. A lieutenant stopped the black Mercedes Tuesday afternoon after seeing it speed around his patrol vehicle and nearly hit an oncoming dump truck. Upon being stopped, the driver admitted that he had been speeding in order to get his girlfriend to a job interview at Taco Bell. There were also three kids in the car. The driver faces charges of reckless driving, child neglect and other charges.
* Honestly? I’d want that woman as my employee. Look at the support system she has to make sure she shows up at work.
* She needs to apply to a Taco Bell that’s closer to her house.
* How many hours at minimum wage will it take the girlfriend to earn his bail money?
* If only we still had to do job interviews by Zoom. Stupid Covid vaccine!

COUNTERFEITERS!

An upstate New York couple is accused of manufacturing counterfeit money in their home and spending it at dozens of local businesses over several months. The couple from Buffalo paid or attempted to pay more than 50 area businesses with fake $100 bills between December and March. The scheme was uncovered when one scammed business, Watson’s Chocolates, reported the couple to the U.S. Secret Service and provided the government with surveillance footage of the couple paying with a counterfeit bill on January 10. A month later (* Way to get right on it, feds!), investigators searched through the couple’s trash and discovered “an ink cartridge, a partial counterfeit bill, printer paper with the outlines of fake bills, and handwritten addresses of businesses where counterfeit bills were passed. Passing counterfeit U.S. currency carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison.
* The crime of counterfeiting seems almost quaint compared to all the other crimes going on these days.
* What were they going to do next? Rob a stagecoach?
* You can’t just print money and throw it around in the marketplace. That’s the government’s job.
* $100 bills. Dumb! They attract to much attention. The way to do it is with $20 bills. Uh … I would imagine.
* I think the lesson here is, if you commit a crime in America, no matter how big, you have anywhere from 30 days to seven years to make your way to a foreign country without an extradition treaty.

AUDIO: PILOT PASSES OUT, OFF-DUTY PILOT STEPS IN

An off-duty pilot jumped into action Wednesday after a Southwest Airlines pilot suffered a medical emergency, mid-flight. The Southwest Flight 6013 had just taken off for its trip between Las Vegas and Columbus, Ohio, when the pilot had stomach pain and fainted. An off-duty pilot from a different airline, who was traveling as a passenger, entered the flight deck and assisted the crew with radio calls as they turned around and headed back to Las Vegas. The plane made it back to Las Vegas where emergency health crews tended to the captain. An alternate flight crew was called in and the passengers made it to their destination later in the day.
* I bet somebody had a nice seat upgrade when that off-duty pilot went up to the cockpit.
* When he got behind the controls, he jerked the plane around a little bit told the passengers, “If you flew on MY airline, this wouldn’t happen.”
* What the heck is going on? Does Delta have a witch on the payroll casting spells against Southwest?
* Stomach pain. This story has been brought to you by Pepcid AC.
CLIP: From “Airplane!”: “Does anybody know how to fly a plane?”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/10-06-Airplane-AnyoneKnowHowToFly(dot)mp3

FIVE BOYS LOST IN NEW YORK SEWER SYSTEM

On Tuesday, five young boys had to be rescued after they got lost in the Staten Island, New York sewer system. The New York City Fire Department received an emergency call around 6 p.m. regarding children trapped in the sewers. A dispatcher asked the child questions to narrow down where the boys entered the sewer system. Responding fire units located the children’s backpacks at the entrance to the tunnel, and then figured they had traveled up to a quarter of a mile further inside. The tunnel reduced from 40-inch opening to about 30 inches, making it difficult to navigate. Once they had a general idea where they were, rescuers opened up manhole covers until they located and rescued the children. The boys spent about an hour inside the sewer system before being rescued.
* Long enough for the superpowers to start developing.
* They could have used sniffer dogs, but that would have been animal cruelty.
* The boys were on an adventure, like that movie “Stand By Me,” only in a 30-inch pipe. “Crouch By Me.”
* At least they didn’t run into a big-headed clown with a red balloon.
* Given what’s going on in the schools, the boys were probably safer in the sewer.
* What a crappy way to spend a Tuesday night.

NEW STARBUCKS CEO TO WORK WITH THE DRONES

New Starbucks CEO Laxman Narasimhan announced that he will work a shift once a month at the company’s cafes. He underwent 40 hours of barista training and plans to keep up his barista skills to stay close to the company’s culture and customers. He wrote in a letter to employees, “I intend to continue working in stores for a half day each month, and I expect each member of the leadership team to also ensure our support centers stay connected and engaged in the realities of our stores for discussion and improvement.”
* As long as it’s the Starbucks half a block from the office.
* Nothing says “I’m one of you” like working four hours a month and making $8.8 million. And he probably doesn’t even have to pay for his coffee.
* And there’s nothing employees like better than to have the boss working right next to them all day.
* At least he’ll have a skill to fall back on in case the whole CEO thing doesn’t work out.
* I bet the staff will write the name correctly on HIS cups.
* Now I want to see the CEO of Southwest Airlines promise to only fly on his company’s planes.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CITIZENS OUTRAGED OVER “SHOW US YOUR REGINA” TOURIST CAMPAIGN

The Canadian city of Regina has been slammed over their new $30,000 tourism campaign titled ‘Show us your Regina,’ mocking the fact the area’s name rhymes with the name of a female body part. (* Delores?) Residents of Regina, the capital city of Saskatchewan, were horrified when the campaign rebrand was unveiled last week. They called the campaign sexist and mysoginistic. The campaign’s CEO Tim Reid then did what Canadians do best by apologizing for the uproar it caused, and they went and scrapped all the merchandise with the slogan on it.
* Besides, the phrasing is wrong. It should be, “Look at my Regina.”
* You can say “Scho-long” to that ad campaign.
* It’s too bad, because the biggest tourism draw in the area is Regina canyon.
* So, they decided to go with their backup slogan: “Regina: It’s The Whole Package.”
* They’re going to try to resell the campaign to the city of Begina.
* School children in Regina aren’t even allowed to say the name of the city until they’re of legal age.
* I wonder what the slogan is for Climax, Saskatchewan. (Real place!)

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 1, Saturday – April Fools Day
April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Val Chmerkovskiy (dancer, “Dancing with the Stars”) … 36
Philip Winchester (actor, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” “Chicago Med/Justice/P.D.) … 41
Amir Arison (actor, “The Blacklist”) … 44
eyton Manning (retired pro football QB) … 46
Jessica Chastain (actress, “The 355,” “It Chapter Two,” “Interstellar,” “Zero Dark Thirty) … 46
Alyson Hannigan (TV host “Penn & Teller: Fool Us,” actress “How I Met Your Mother,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) … 49
Jim Parsons (actor, “The Big Bang Theory”) … 50
Robert Carradine (actor) … 69

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I did have a Twitter account that I tried for a couple days, but found I had nothing to say.”

(A) Kanye West
(B) Oprah Winfrey
(C) Jim Parsons

ANSWER: (C) Jim Parsons

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2019 – The investigation headed by Special Council Robert S. Mueller found no evidence President Trump colluded with Russia in the 2016 election.
* The Democrats’ theory: That’s what Putin PAID Mueller to say.

1989 – The supertanker “Exxon Valdez” ran aground on Bligh Reef in Prince William Sound, Alaska, losing 11-million gallons of crude – it was the worst oil spill from a ship in American history up to that point.
* So it wasn’t such a super tanker, was it?

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2001 – A stretch of road on Highway 19 in Macon, Georgia, was named Duane Allman Boulevard, near where the Allman Brothers guitarist died at age 24 in a motorcycle crash on October 29, 1971.

2000 – A film company paid $1,079,500 for over nine hours of film shot during the 70s by Yoko Ono. The film contained shots of Lennon smoking hash and talking about his political beliefs.

2000 – Sir Elton John’s Aida opened on Broadway. It took Elton 21 days to write the music and five years to make the production.

1991 – The Black Crows were dropped as the supporting act on ZZ Top’s tour after repeatedly criticizing the tour sponsor, Miller Beer.

1992 – A Chicago court settled the Milli-Vanilli class-action suit by approving cash rebates of up to $3 to anyone proving they bought the group’s music before November 27, 1990, the date the lip synching scandal broke.

1979 – The Bee Gees started a two week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Tragedy,” the group’s eighth U.S. No.1.

1973 – During a Lou Reed show in Buffalo, New York, a fan jumped on stage and bit Lou on the bottom. The man was thrown out of the theater and Reed completed the show.

1973 – The O’Jays went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Love Train.”

1958 – Elvis Presley was drafted. The King got his first 65-cent military haircut that day from barber James Peterson at Fort Chaffee, Arkansas.

1945 – Billboard published the first U.S. LP chart. Nat King Cole was at No.1 with “A Collection Of Favorites.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. On average, when people do THIS, they do it for about 8 minutes. What is it?
Take a shower

2. According to a recent survey, it takes most people 25 minutes to decide THIS. What is it?
What to watch on a streaming service

3. Research shows 19 minutes is the perfect amount of time for THIS. What is it?
A nap

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