COLOMBIA TO DEPORT COCAINE HIPPOS

Colombia plans to deport at least 70 hippopotamuses (* hippopotami?) that belonged to the late drug lord Pablo Escobar and live in and around Escobar’s former ranch. Locals call them “cocaine hippos.” When Escobar was fatally shot in 1993, four hippos were left at the ranch. Now there are about 130 hippos in the area, with the group having rapidly reproduced and spread beyond the confines of the ranch. Authorities fear that the number of hippos could reach 400 within eight years, with the animals multiplying fast due to a lack of natural predators. The newly proposed plan would involve sending at least 60 hippos to Gujarat in India, and another 10 to zoos and sanctuaries in Mexico.
* Horny, horny hippos.
* These Cocaine Bear publicity tie-ins are getting ridiculous.
* What would a natural predator of a hippo be? A velociraptor?
* Can we get them to ship some to Putin? It might distract him awhile from Ukraine.
* What to do, what to do … (cough) dog food (cough)