CATERPILLAR POOP TEA

Not so many years ago, someone came up with the idea of civet dung coffee, a coffee brewed from partially digested coffee beans which have been eaten and defecated by the Asian “civet cat.” Very expensive coffee. They made millions. Now that people have forgotten about cat poop coffee, another guy has come up with caterpillar-poop tea. It’s called Chu-hi-cha, invented by a Japanese researcher at Kyoto University. It involves brewing the droppings of caterpillars that have feasted on various plants. Here’s how he invented chu-hi-cha tea: somebody gave him 50 gypsy moth larvae. He didn’t know what to do with them, but he eventually decided to at least keep them alive until he could decide, so he picked some leaves from a nearby cherry tree and fed them to the caterpillars. When cleaning the caterpillar droppings, he noticed that they had a pleasantly fragrant smell. He was inspired to brew them into tea (* Who wouldn’t?). Not only did the dark color of the droppings give the tea a pleasant color, but the drink smelled like cherry blossoms and had an exquisite taste (* If you say so.). He has been experimenting with different caterpillars and different plants and claims that “the aroma and taste of Chu-hi-cha change dramatically depending on the type of plant.” The professor is currently crowdfunding to raise money to create a commercial version of his tea.
* Anybody want to know the address of the crowdfunding site? Anybody? Hands? No?
* Well, now that he’s told us the secret formula, who needs to buy it at a store? Get me some gypsy moths.
* Every day the caterpillars wake up, crawl around their cage and think, “What happened to all our poop?”
* Between cat poop coffee and caterpillar poop tea… please don’t mess with my orange juice.
* I’m imagining the Lipton factory force-feeding cherry leaves and Dulcolax to caterpillars: “Come on, eat! We’re behind schedule! Eat!!!”