THE SECRET MESSAGES OF FOOD IN YOUR SHOPPING CART

Brittany Hockley, a former contestant on the Australian version of “The Bachelor,” has discovered the supposed way singles hookup in the grocery store based on how you put fruit in your basket. (* Not a euphemism.) Hockley explained the rules on a podcast that she co-hosts with another “Bachelor” alum. Here are the secret messages:
– If you place a bunch of bananas upright, so the curve is facing up in the cart, this means you are single.
– If you just want to buy bananas but you’re not looking for anyone, you turn them so they curve down — so that means you are not open. ( * Aww, sad bananas!)
– Placing a peach in someone else’s cart signals that you are interested in them.
– An upside-down pineapple in someone’s cart identifies them as a swinger.
* Or a moron for not knowing which way a pineapple is supposed to go.
* For an even more explicit message, put in a salad that needs tossing.
* What does it mean when people keep putting ugli fruit into my cart when I’m not looking?
* I think we all know what an eggplant means. – OR – I hesitate to ask what a kumquat means.
* ‘Course, you can always use the old fashioned signal of a big box of condoms.