MAN KILLED BY PET KANGAROO

A 77-year-old Australian man was killed Sunday by a kangaroo that authorities believe he kept as a pet at his home. It was the first fatal kangaroo attack in Australia in 86 years. A relative of the man found him on his property in Redmond. When officers and paramedics arrived at the man’s home, the killer kangaroo was preventing them from reaching its injured owner, so cops shot it dead, police said (* It made them jumpy). However, the man died at the scene.
* But here’s the weird thing: the man was poisoned.
* But let’s not jump to conclusions.
* Was the kangaroo wearing boxing gloves like in the Sylvester cartoons?
* “Punch Drunk Love 2: Love Hurts.”
* What did the man do for a living? Was he a hops farmer?
* Should have gone with maybe a gerbil.