THURSDAY, Apr 7 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, April 7, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: DAYLIGHT STRETCHING TIME; BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

COFFEE CAKE DAY

INTERNATIONAL BEAVER DAY

INTERNATIONAL SNAILPAPERS DAY (Newspapers)

METRIC SYSTEM DAY

NATIONAL BEER DAY
The Punchbowl website says this:
“Today is National Beer Day! People have been brewing beer ever since they began cultivating domesticated grains 8,000 years ago. Beer has been an important part of human culture ever since. Today, beer is the third most popular beverage in the world behind water and tea. So why is National Beer Day celebrated on April 7th? On this day in 1933, President Franklin Roosevelt took the first step toward ending Prohibition and signed a law that allowed people to brew and sell beer as long as it remained below 4.0% alcohol by volume (ABV). Despite the low ABV, Americans were thrilled to be able to purchase beer for the first time in thirteen years.”

NO HOUSEWORK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“No Housework Day is your chance to do anything, except housework. Better still, have someone else do the chores for a day. Housework is a daily, seemingly endless and repetitive groups of tasks. It often goes unrecognized and worst of all….. taken for granted. But, watch out! If the dishes aren’t done, or there’s no clean towels, somebody notices.
There’s two ways to celebrate this day:
If you normally do the housework around the house, cease and desist for this day. Instead, kick back and enjoy the day. Relax and do anything, except housework.
If you are a spouse or significant other, do the housework for your mate. It gives her (or him) a break from the housework. And, you just might get an appreciation of how much work it takes to keep up the house.”

WORLD HEALTH DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Sponsored by United Nation’s World Health Organization (WHO), World Health Day focuses upon a different health theme each year. It is an international event to emphasize and work on important health issues or problems. Many countries around the world participate. Major activities on world health Day focus upon, awareness, education programs, and fund raising activities to help with the health issue for the year. Countries also work on resolving problems related to the theme.”

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

THE BUZZTHREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “What It’s Really Like To Be Poisoned In Russia”
2. “Dramatic Photos Capture Squirrels Battling Over Tiny Piece Of Lettuce”
3. “I Had No Idea I Was Pregnant Until I Went For A Bikini Wax”

And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “These Leggings May Ruin Your Life”

SURVEY: MORE THAN HALF OF AMERICANS CAN’T NAME ALL FOUR GRANDPARENTS

More than half of Americans don’t know the names of all four of their grandparents. A recent survey of 2,113 U.S. adults from Ancestry.com found that just 47 percent of respondents could correctly name all four grandparents. Oddly, results varied by city – 66% of Boston residents could name all of their grandparents, compared to only 26% of those in Philadelphia. San Francisco, Chicago and Dallas were all around 35%. Only four percent could name all eight of their great-grandparents.
* I can name all mine: Meemaw and Nonno, Yaya and Opa. You can look it up.
* Why is this surprising? These days, Grandma has had three or four husbands, and the odds are pretty good that you came from a test tube. How is anybody supposed to keep track of this?
* It’s almost as if Ancestry.com wants us to feel guilty and sign up for their service.
* You can make up for blowing off your grandparents on Grandparents Day. Like you know what day that is.
* Not only do people not know the names of their grandparents, it won’t be long before most of us don’t know the sex of our grandparents.
* I bet you could remember if you knew you were in their will.

U.S. NEWS

SCIENCE TEACHER RESIGNS AFTER IGNITING ONE OF HER STUDENTS

A Granbury, Texas, Middle School teacher resigned after setting one of her students on fire last Friday, April 1st, in a science experiment gone wrong. As part of the science experiment, the 37-year-old teacher put hand sanitizer on the student’s hand and set it on fire. This had reportedly been done multiple times throughout the day with other students without incident, but the 12-year-old boy ended up with third-degree burns.
* I can’t believe he fell for the burning hand sanitizer gag. April Fools!!
* Just her luck to do the experiment on a witch, who’s obviously made of wood and will burn.
* Like Van Halen said, he was hot for teacher.

GUY DIDN’T WANT TO PAY FOR TREE REMOVAL, SMASHED NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE

A man in Bellevue, Washington wanted a large tree removed from his lawn, but he didn’t want to pay the $3,000 it would have taken for a professional to do the job. He figured he could offer free wood to anybody who would come take the tree down. Which someone did, on Monday. Well…
The wind was angry that day, my friends. And so were the Jacobsens, neighbors of the tree owner, after the inexperienced lumberjack, combined with a strong wind, sent the 140-foot Douglas fir tree crashing completely through the Jacobsen’s house. The tree sliced through the whole house, through the roof and into the living room. The man who owned that tree said the person who tried to cut it down does not have insurance, and he doesn’t know if the worker had a license.
* Let’s just assume he doesn’t.
* He’s not a lumberjack, and he’s not okay.
* This story makes me feel bad. ‘Cause there’s no video of the accident. It sounds amazing.
* On the bright side, this could make a great Farmer’s Insurance “We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two” commercial.
* The homeowners ought to take possession of the tree, have it turned into lumber and use it to rebuild their house.
* PHONE TOPIC: I tried to save a few bucks, and it ended up costing me more.

8TH GRADE BASKETBALL TEAM BEATS UP REFEREE

A basketball referee needed 30 stitches after he was brutally attacked by a bunch of eighth-graders at a youth basketball game in Lithonia, Georgia at the Stronghold Christian Church (CHRISTIAN CHURCH! Somebody isn’t getting the minister’s message!). Just as the game ended, multiple players from one team and spectators at the game chased the referee around the court before pinning him to the floor, punching and kicking him. The team involved in the attack has been banned from future events. There was no word on what caused the incident.
* Did he insult their moms about having alopecia?
* Sore losers, and a pretty sore referee, too.
* Maybe he should referee games using Zoom.
* Time to review the fundamentals of the game, I think.
* That’s called a buzzer beater. They beat him up after the buzzer.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

NOW HIRING: ANTARCTICA POST OFFICE

Are you still waiting to go back to work because you’re looking for the ideal job? Look no further. The U.K. Antarctic Heritage Trust is accepting applications for positions at its Port Lockroy base. Yes, Antarctica. The Port Lockroy base, located in the Palmer Archipelago that is west of the Antarctic Peninsula, is also looking for a base leader, shop manager and general assistant who will work at the gift shop and post office from November 2022 to March 2023. The job entails running the post office, which receives roughly 80,000 pieces of mail every season, and monitoring penguins for the British Antarctic Survey. Did we mention the gift shop? Workers will be living in conditions that include limited power, no running water or internet access. And, it’s in Antarctica. Applications must be sent in by April 25.
* So up ’til now they had a hiring freeze?
* Sounds like a pretty easy job, like there’d be a lot of time to just chill.
* Why do they need three people? Don’t tell me there are lines at the Antarctica post office, though I wouldn’t doubt it.
* This announcement should get them some applicants. When Hell freezes over.
* Or – if you really want to be alone – get a job as a survey taker at the mall. No one will come near you.
(Note: We believe you can see a photo of the gift shop here: ukaht(dot)(org)/shop/. It appears very small, but it’s spotlessly clean. There must be a lot of free time for dusting.)

TRENDING

THE WEEKND WANTS KANYE MONEY TO TAKE HIS PLACE AT COACHELLA

You may have heard that Kanye West pulled out of headlining the Coacheklla Festival, happening later this month. Coachella organizers managed to get The Weeknd to take his place. Fine. Only now, according to the New York Post, it comes out that the organizers tried to cheap out The Weeknd. Kanye was supposed to getg $8 million, a plus $500,000 production fee. AEG Live, the company behind Coachella, wanted to pay The Weeknd just a few million, but when he found out what Kanye was supposed to get, The Weeknd wanted that same amount, and threatened to bail if he didn’t get it. On Wednesday, AEG caved and agreed to pay The Weeknd the same money.”

BOB ODENKIRK SIGNED TO ANOTHER AMC SERIES

AMC has announced a new series starring Bob Odenkirk. It’s called “Straight Man,” based on the novel by Richard Russo. Odenkirk, currently starring in “Better Call Saul” for the channel, plays William Henry Deveraux Jr., the chairman of the English department of an underfunded rust belt Pennsylvania college. Episodes will start airing in 2023. (And if it’s anything like Better Call Saul, you’ll get three episodes and then a two year break before the next four.)

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 15, Friday – U.S. Tax Day
April 17, Sunday – Easter
May 8, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 30, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Tuesday – Flag Day
June 19, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Tuesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 5:14 A.M. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Ben McKee (bassist w Imagine Dragons) … 37
Kevin Alejandro (actor, “Lucifer”, “Arrow”) … 46
Russell Crowe (actor) … 58
Jackie Chan (actor) … 68
Tony Dorsett (U.S. Football Hall of Famer) … 68
John Oates (singer/musician, Hall and Oates) … 74
Francis Ford Coppola (film director) … 84

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not one of those fellows that is just going to have a pseudo-middling relationship.”

(A) Charlie Sheen
(B) Leonardo DiCaprio
(C) Russell Crowe

ANSWER: (C) Russell Crowe

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – China ended its lockdown of Wuhan, the city at the center of the COVID-19 pandemic, after 76 days, as the country reported no new deaths for the first time.

1978 – US President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to develop the “neutron bomb,” which would kill people but leave buildings intact.
* Clearly, he was in the pocket of the real estate industry.

1969 – The Supreme Court unanimously struck down laws prohibiting private possession of obscene material.
* Unanimously! Horny bastards!

1966 – The United States recovered a hydrogen bomb it had lost off the coast of Spain.
* Not the kind of thing you want washing up on the beach.

1959 – The world’s first nuclear-generated electricity was produced at the Los Alamos National Laboratories. Atomic Power Commissioner Dixie Lee Ray announced that nuclear power would be “too cheap to meter.”
* Let’s rephrase that: “Disposing of eternally lethal nuclear waste will be too expensive to estimate.”

1959 – For the first time ever, scientists at Stanford in California bounced radar off the sun.
* This was the first time it worked, ’cause all the other attempts were at night.

1943 – Swiss chemist Dr. Albert Hoffman produced the world’s first batch of LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide).
* He called a press conference and announced “The electric stained-glass pinball machines are melting!”

1927 – Employees at Bell Laboratories in New York City demonstrated the first television transmission. A handful of viewers saw and heard Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover.
* He did a little skit with a ventriloquist’s dummy – it was very corny and they never asked him back.

1831 – The first box of matches was sold.
* They took off like … well, like a house on fire.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – The original manuscript of Don McLean’s American Pie sold for $1.2m at a New York auction. The 16-page draft had been expected to fetch as much as $1.5m at the Christie’s sale. McLean said writing the song was “a mystical trip into his past.”

2001 – Paul McCartney bought the four-bedroom Beverly Hills home of Courtney Love for $3.9 million. The gated 1930s house has its own pool and 1.5 acres of land.

1998 – George Michael was arrested in a public restroom in Beverly Hills for lewd conduct. He was sentenced to community service for the incident.

1998 – Country singer Tammy Wynette died at age 55. She scored 12 hit singles including “Stand By Your Man” and sold over 30 million records world-wide; married five times and once filed for bankruptcy.

1994 – Courtney Love was arrested on drugs and theft charges after a reported overdose. Love was unaware that her husband Kurt Cobain was dead at their home.

1994 – Percy Sledge pleaded guilty to tax evasion. The soul singer was given five years’ probation and ordered to pay more than $95,000 in back taxes. He also received a sentence of six months in a halfway house and was ordered to participate in a substance-abuse program.

1990 – Bonnie Raitt started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Nick Of Time.”

1990 – Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee was injured when performing a stunt during a concert, falling 20 feet from a lighting rig.

1988 – During a European tour, Alice Cooper accidentally hung himself in a rehearsal when a safety rope snapped. He dangled for several seconds before a roadie saved him.

1985 – Wham! became the first western pop group to perform live in China, when they played at the workers gymnasium in Beijing.

1984 – A record 40 British acts appeared on the US Top 100 singles chart, with Culture Club, Duran Duran, Thompson Twins, Eurythmics, Phil Collins, Paul McCartney and Yes all having current hits.

1981 – Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band kicked off their first full-scale tour in Hamburg, Germany. This was Springsteen’s first tour outside North America, which would take in 10 countries.

1979 – The Doobie Brothers went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Minute By Minute,” the group’s only U.S. chart topper.

1973 – Diana Ross started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Lady Sings The Blues.”

1962 – Mick Jagger and Keith Richards met Brian Jones for the first time at a jazz club in England. Jones was calling himself Elmo Lewis and was playing guitar with Paul Jones.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to USA Today, Americans collectively eat 100 pounds of THIS every second. What is it?
Chocolate

2. Americans have more than doubled their annual consumption of THIS since 1980, from 9 1/2 to 21 pounds per person. What is it?
Rice

3. The average person from Alaska eats twice as much of THIS food compared to the average person from Michigan. What is it?
Ice cream

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