INTERNET COLOGNE

A company called Highsnobiety is selling a cologne that, they claim, captures what the internet smells like – or rather, what people smell like when they browse the internet. According to the product description, the fragrance evokes, “an extractive web of raw minerals and sweat, spiking dopamine and desperate self-monetization from the vantage of a polyurethane chair” (* No delicate notes of Jergen’s lotion?). Scent of the Internet is available through the HIGHArt Museum for $150 for one 15-milliliter bottle, which comes to one tablespoon.
* I smell a ripoff.
* It’s made from the essence of energy drink and the squeezin’s of a gamer’s seat cushion.
* I guess an internet nerd could afford it depending on whether or not their parents are making them pay rent to live in the basement.
* All I can say is, my chair isn’t polyurethane, it’s pleather.