EXTRAMARITAL SEX MAYBE NOT SO BAD, SAYS COOL POPE

Making a break from, oh, about 2,000 years of doctrine, Pope Francis has declared that Lust is not the worst of the seven deadly sins. The leader of the Catholic Church told reporters on Monday that there are worse indiscretions than sex outside of marriage. “Sins of the flesh are not the most serious,” the 84-year-old religious leader said regarding sex outside of marriage. Worse, he said, were pride and hatred. The Pope was talking about the resignation of a Paris archbishop, who quit over a relationship with a woman earlier this month, behavior that would break his promise of celibacy. Said the cool Pope: “It was a failing against the sixth commandment (You shall not commit adultery) but not a total one, one of small caresses, a massage given to his secretary — that is what the accusation is. There is a sin there but not the worst kind.”
* Just a massage. Right.
* Notice he didn’t rank ‘lying’ in there anywhere.
* So it’s unclear if the archbishop’s story has a happy ending.
* Kinda makes you wonder what the Pope gets up to on a Saturday night.
* You know what else isn’t so bad? A little gluttony once in a while. Yes, I like my donuts.