SURVEY: THERE’S ALWAYS ONE FAMILY MEMBER WHO DRINKS TOO MUCH

According to a new survey of 2,000 Americans from non-alcoholic spirit maker Ritual Zero Proof, two out of three people agree that there’s always one family member who drinks too much during the holidays. Meanwhile, 58 percent agree that their entire family drinks too much at holiday gatherings.
* Well how the hell else are we supposed to be able to tolerate our family?
* If you’re the one out of three who doesn’t think there’s always one family member who drinks too much, guess what you are?
* Those numbers would be higher, but some people were too drunk to take the survey.
* Only one? What is this, Highlander? There can be more than one. Believe me, I’ve got a big family.
* Non-alcoholic spirits. Enjoy one with your meatless hamburger.