BOAT-SINKING WALRUS TO GET FLOATING COUCH

Animal rescuers in Ireland have come up with solution to the walrus that has been jumping up onto parked boats and sinking them. The walrus, named Wally, has been spotted frequently along the southeastern and southern coast of Ireland. He likes too rest in parked boats along the coast, and has sank at least two of them. The organization Seal Rescue Ireland (* Boy, there’s an organization for everything these days) put out a call for a pontoon to be used as a dedicated resting spot for Wally to keep him from damaging more boats. The pontoon they procured has three raised sides, according to Seal Rescue Ireland, making it resemble a “floating couch.”
* When Wally’s on his floating couch people think James Corden’s hanging out.
* How do they know the walrus is named Wally?
* Wally sounds like a terrorist walrus. (Cockney accent, if you can) “Why, it’s a very nice boat you got, innit? Be a real shame if something ‘appened to it.”
* He’s now now demanding a Lay-Z-Boy and a regular supply of potato chips.