CHINESE CONTEST SEEKS ONLY THE BEST SPERM

The Human Sperm Bank of Shanghai is inviting college students to join a competition to see who has the best semen. The summer contest will pick those who have the highest sperm count and motility as winners, although their names will not be released to the public. Chinese sperm banks have in recent years reported a general decrease in sperm quality. Chen Xiangfeng, a doctor in charge of the sperm bank, says participants who meet stringent requirements, including having a sperm concentration of greater than 60 million per milliliter of semen, will be invited to be donors. Donors need to visit the sperm bank several times within six months, and will receive up to 7,500 yuan ($1,160) in subsidies. (* Plus a free pen every visit.) To drum up interest in donations, the sperm bank has been posting about the best sperm it receives every month. In June, for example, it recorded a highest sperm count of 282 million sperm per milliliter of semen – about 19 times the normal level. The unnamed donor was a sports fan.
* He particularly likes watching beach volleyball.
* You just know this is going to turn up as an American game show on ABC’s Summer Fun & Games.
* So … at the Human Sperm Bank of Shanghai, the yanks are coming.
* What’s with the name? Are they trying to keep people from confusing it with a nearby Ostrich Sperm Bank?
* Does China really need more people?