SHARK JUMPS OUT OF WATER, BITES PARASAILER

A guy at a resort in the Red Sea was parasailing off the coast of Aqaba, Jordan when a shark leapt out of the water and bit him on the foot. A video shows the 37-year-old Jordanian man doing a tandem parasail – hanging under a parachute with another man in a harness next to him. They’re hovering above the water when the shark suddenly emerges and chomps his leg. The man sustained serious injuries and was rushed to a hospital where medics operated on his right foot, including broken bones, severed tendons severed and torn muscle. It was not know what kind of shark was responsible for the attack. Mohammad Qatawneh, from the Aqaba International Dive Centre, told local media that attacks by sharks in the Gulf of Aqaba are — all together now, what are shark attacks? — RARE.
* Parasailing? More like Human Fly Fishing.
* It was just like when Jaws grabbed the helicopter out of the air in Jaws 2. Was the guy making helicopter sounds? Because that’ll do it.
* “We’re gonna need a bigger parachute.”
* Sharks are bad enough, and then you get ones with attitude.
* I mean, seriously – they’ve got a WHOLE OCEAN full of food! Is this kind of crap really necessary?
* Those Discovery network guys really know how to work up interest in Shark Week, don’t they?