BODY FOUND IN TANNING BED

In Deutsch Kaltenbrunn, Austria, last Sunday, a salon customer found a dead woman on a tanning bed who had visited the parlor for a two-hour session. The 50-year-old woman had gone in for a session at 2:30 p.m. and was found dead at 4:45 p.m. by another customer who had grown suspicious when the bed said it was in use but was silent. After attempting to communicate with the person inside the bed, the concerned customer pried open the door. An autopsy was performed and showed no evidence of foul play, with the woman’s body showing no signs of injury.
* But, boy, is SHE gonna leave behind a good looking corpse.
* Her goose was cooked.
* Please tell me nobody said “Stick a fork in her, she’s done.”
* It was just like in “Final Destination 3” but without the flames and screaming.
* Another few hours and they wouldn’t have to worry about cremation.