MISSING MAN FOUND DEAD INSIDE OF DINOSAUR STATUE

The body of a missing 39-year-old man was found inside a paper mache dinosaur statue in a suburb of Barcelona, Spain. Police were alerted after residents in the Santa Coloma de Gramenet neighborhood saw what looked like a human leg through a crack in the Stegosaurus sculpture. There was also a bad smell. The family had reported the man missing, and no foul play is suspected. It is believed that the man had somehow dropped his cellphone inside the giant figure, fell inside while trying to retrieve it and was unable to climb out or call for help (* I didn’t know paper mache could block cell phone signals). The statue had been used by a now-defunct movie theater, but was sitting in a public square.
* Yes, that paper mache can be pretty strong stuff. I’ve seen piñatas.
* Speaking of which, it was kind of tacky that the rescuers removed him by blindfolding themselves, spinning around three times and whacking the dinosaur with a stick.
* He should have jumped up and down until he was all pooped out.
* Now HE’S extinct.