UK SUFFERS GARDEN GNOME SHORTAGE

Europe is suffering a shortage of garden gnomes. Due to the COVID lockdowns, more people have taken up gardening, which has led to a significant increase in the demand for those cheesy, tacky, kitschy garden gnome statues. Not only are they in high demand, but the supply chain has been diruspted by, of all things, the recent Suez Canal blockage. One garden center in the UK says that it hasn’t even seen a garden gnome in stock for the past six months.
* You twit. That’s like going to Japan and expecting to see ninjas. They’re invisible.
* A garden gnome shortage is just nature’s way of giving an entire country better taste.
* With no garden gnomes, who’s gonna protect all the gardens from … wait, what are garden gnomes supposed to do, anyway?
* Maybe you’ve got an old Furby lying around you could stick out there.