TOYS R US HOTTEST TOYS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Toys R Us, which has exactly two actual stores left in the United States – one in Houston and one in Paramus, New Jersey – has released its list of “What Toys Do We Have Too Many Of In The Warehous—- er, I mean, a list of “Top Toys Kids Will Want This Christmas.” The list is based on what parents are asking for.
– Barbie Dreamhouse Dollhouse with Wheelchair Accessible Elevator
– Blue’s Clues & You! Dance-Along Blue Plush
– Hatchimals Pixies Crystal Flyers Pink Magical Flying Pixie Toy
– Hot Wheels Sky Crash Tower Track Playset
– KidiZoom Creator Cam
– LEGO DOTS
– LEGO Harry Potter Hogwarts Astronomy Tower
– LEGO Super Mario Adventures with Mario Starter Course
– Little People Launch & Loop Raceway
– Monster Jam Official Megalodon Storm 1:15 Scale All-Terrain Remote Control Monster Truck
– Nintendo Switch Console with Neon Red/Neon Blue Joy-Con
– Operation Pet Scan Board Game
– PAW Patrol Dino Rescue Dino Patroller Motorized Team Vehicle
– Peppa Pig Shopping Mall Playset
– Pets Alive Fifi the Flossing Sloth
– PJ Masks Transforming 2 in 1 Mobile HQ Playset
– Rainbow High Fashion Dolls
– Squeakee The Balloon Dog
– Star Wars: The Mandalorian The Child (“Baby Yoda”) Animatronic Edition
– The Animal Interactive Unboxing Toy Truck
* Know how I know this list is bogus? There’s only one mention of Baby Yoda.
* Each toy comes with a guaranteed three minutes of playtime or your money back.
* These all sound like indie band names: “Little People Launch, with opening acts Squeaky the Balloon Dog and Sky Crash Tower.”
* Mattel should be making “Barbie’s Stay-at Home Order Dreamhouse.” None of the doors open, and if you peek through the windows, Barbie is asleep in her bathrobe in front of the TV.