16 YEARS OF EARWAX EXCAVATED

Sixteen years’ worth of earwax was removed from a United Kingdom man who had not cleaned his ears in more than a decade and a half. A video clip that has since gone viral shows Dr. Neel Raithatha, a British audiologist, removing clumps of wax and dead skin from a single ear of a patient. Raithatha, who refers to himself as “The Wax Whisperer” (* Catchy nickname!) said the patient had been experiencing severe ear pain and vertigo for several weeks. The procedure typically takes about 10 minutes, but in this case the removal lasted an hour. Said Dr. Raithatha, “It was comfortably the largest haul of earwax and dead skin I’ve ever removed from a single ear.”
* So … Dr. Raithatha’s new personal best. He must be so proud.
* The patient said, “Thank you.” The doctor said, “You’re welcome.” The patient said, “Not so loud!”
* Did he take a core sample, like they do with ice in the arctic?
* Were there geological levels? Like, was there a piece of a “John McCain/Sarah Palin” bumber sticker in there?
* Please, oh, please make a TV series of “The Wax Whisperer,” and put it on right after “Dr. Pimple Popper.”
* On the bright side, the guy took the wax and made 12 candles out of it.
* Whatever you do, don’t look in his nose.