COUPLE KICKED OFF CRUISE SHIP FOR LOUD SEX

A couple from Germany is filing a lawsuit against a cruise company after they were booted off the boat for having loud sex. The couple were on a two-week Caribbean cruise with TUI Cruises on April 1, aboard the Mein Schiff 5. That night, they say, they made love in the cabin and subsequently got into a verbal argument with each other. The balcony door was open during their lovemaking session, and the woman admitted to being quite loud. Shortly afterward, a manager with TUI visited the couple’s cabin with security in tow, and allegedly informed the two that the captain had decided to remove them from the ship. They were left in Barbados on April 2, and told to find their own way back to Germany. The couple is now suing for the cost of the cruise as well as expenses incurred to get home from Barbados.
* She was screaming “Ach! Ach! Ach!” so much it was attracting seagulls.
* So they were screwed. Twice.
* “If this ship’s a rockin’, don’t -” wait, that doesn’t work. Ships ALWAYS rock.
* “Navigator, set a course for the hinterlands.” “Hintercourse it is, captain!”
* Too bad they weren’t into ball gags.