CYCLIST KILLED BY MAGPIE

Australia continues to enhance its reputation as a country where everything is out to kill you. A cyclist died in Wollongong on Sunday after being attacked by a magpie, a native Australian bird that gets aggressive during breeding season, which is now. The 76-year-old man was riding his bike in Nicholson Park when the bird swooped in. The man veered off the path and crashed into a fence post, suffering serious head injuries. He was airlifted to a hospital and died that evening. So far this year, there have been 1,570 swoopings nationwide in Australia, resulting in 189 injuries. To stay safe during swooping season, cyclists are advised get off their bikes during an attack, and to keep calm instead of flailing – which may come across as aggressive behavior and provoke the birds further.
* God forbid we upset our bird overlords.
* Magpie? More like Mag-DIE!
* Swooped to death. Or is it “swoped” to death?
* Guy didn’t even have a chance to flip the bird the bird.
* You can’t totally blame the birds. My wife got the same way when she was pregnant with our kid.