MAN TELLS ATTACKING BEAR “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS”

Brandon Lattie, 27, was on a walking trail in British Columbia at the Ferguson Lake Nature Reserve last Wednesday night when he spotted a black bear, which began to chase him. Lattie jumped into a small lake, not expecting the bear to follow him. But it did, and took a swipe at him. Lattie recalled, “As soon as I got hit, I just thought, ‘OK, this is where I die. This is where my head gets chewed apart.'” Then the bear tried to hold him underwater. He said, “I was already physically tired and kind of out of breath and then the next thing I know I’m … going to get drowned by a frickin’ bear,” but he pushed himself above the water to fight back. It was then, Lattie said, he resorted to begging. “You don’t have to do this,” he told the bear. “You don’t want to do it.” Luckily, there was a family nearby and their dog began to bark, distracting the bear and giving Lattie a chance to break free and swim to a dock.
* That would be a boat dock, not a “Stick out your tongue and say aah” doc.
* Does he still think 30 bucks is too much for bear spray?
* Lucky thing about the dog. “You don’t have to do this” never works in the movies.
* “You don’t have to do this. You don’t want to do it.” Great. Now the bear is having an existential crisis.
* It’s wondering if it’s even worth it to crap in the woods anymore.