CHAINSAW RECALL

Over 1 million chainsaws have been recalled due to a power switch malfunction that lets them run even after they’re turned off. According to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, the 14-inch chainsaws were made in China and sold nationwide by Harbor Freight Tools under three different brand names: Portland, One Stop Gardens and Chicago Electric. There have been several injuries, three resulting in minor cuts and one causing a serious injury to a person’s arm, which required stitches. (The recall covers model Nos. 67255 and 61592 of the tools, which were sold from May 2009 through February 2018.)
* Pretty tricky: China trying to make it look like Portland and Chicago screwed up.
* Could the chainsaws be repackaged as gag gifts? Like those birthday candles that won’t go out?
* Is there a good sentence with the words “malfunctioning chainsaw” in it?
* Actually, yes: “The massacre was delayed by a malfunctioning Texas chainsaw.”