TOWN TO HOLD HALF-K RUN

The town of Boerne, Texas, is holding their first annual 0.5K run – a half a kilometer – to raise money for a local charity called Blessings in a Backpack. They’re calling it “The running event for the rest of us,” and, according to the event’s website, the run should only take about 10 minutes to complete. Participants will receive a congratulatory beer upon completion. The run will be held on May 5.
* Who the hell can run for ten whole minutes? Can you bike it?
* You get a congratulatory beer upon completion, ’cause God forbid you burn off any calories on May 5.
* Can you get a ride back to the starting line and run again for another beer?
* A half a kilometer is equal to, what in American measurements? About 3 decagallons?
* Attention, invading space aliens: we found your first place of attack. Guaranteed not to fight back.
* Put up a beer stand every half a kilometer and see if anybody’s willing to run farther.