COUPLE CAUGHT HAVING SEX "REALLY FAST" AT MOVIE THEATER

A San Antonio, Texas, couple faces charges of public lewdness after theater employees caught the two having sex during a movie last week. An employee at the Santikos Casa Blanca theater caught Melissa Feist-McCuistion, 39, performing a sex act on Adam Lee, 40, and left to tell a manager. When they got back, the couple was having sex “really fast.” The manager told the pair to stop. Their clothing was off and they were trying really hard to cover themselves with a small blanket. Mr. Lee reportedly seemed surprised and “stood there for a long time” before they got dressed.
* They were having sex “really fast”, just not fast enough.
* And I thought people eating candy could be loud.
* “Wet cleanup in theater 5.”
* They didn’t say what movie was playing. The Fast and the Furious?
* Fifty Shades of Eww?
* Whiplash?* Gladiator?
* Crazy, Stupid, Love?
* Sausage Party?
* Get Hard?
* Winter’s Bone?
* Dr. Strangelove?