52 BABOONS ESCAPE PARIS ZOO

The Paris Zoo went into lockdown Tuesday after around 52 “large and potentially very aggressive baboons” escaped from their enclosures. All were seen running amok in the French capital’s Zoological Park, in the Vincennes woods. As of midday, 48 of them had been recaptured after the four dominant males returned to their cage on their own, and the rest followed.
* Because, y’know … monkey see, monkey do.
* The baboons made monkeys out of the zookeepers!
* “Around 52”? Look, it’s either “around 50 baboons” or “exactly 52 baboons.”
* (Singing): “52 missing baboons in the woods / 52 missing baboons / catch one and put it back into the zoo / 51 missing baboons in the woods.”
* The baboon escape was NOT as much fun as a barrel of monkeys.
* And by the way – can you really get more than one monkey in a barrel?
* French monkeys. Instead of going “Ooo ooo ooo!” they go (nasal French laugh) “Hon hon hon hon…”
* I know some monkeys that are gonna get spanked tonight. Wait – are we still talking about the zoo?