Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
“CARRIE” INEXPLICABLY COMING BACK FOR SEASON 2
Money, uh, finds a way.
JAMES BOND AUDITIONS THIS WEEKEND
How are you at running across alligators?
TOM CRUISE TO GET AFI LIFE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Despite Digger.
EX-SPOUSES OF GMA AFFAIR COUPLE GETTING MARRIED
Trading spouses.
SPOTIFY REMOVES 50 MILLION A.I. TRACKS (FROM RECOMMENDATIONS)
They removed NBA legend Allen Iverson?
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
MIKE TYSON SUED FOR WALKING OUT OF CONTRACT
Giant talking pigeons.
AI ERASES ENTIRE SEASON OF SWEDISH TV SHOW
Entire season borked.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What does Jeff Bezos do just before going to the bed?
He puts his pajAMAZON.
Why don’t monsters like to eat ghosts?
They taste like sheet.
What happened to the man who was hit in the head with a can of Coke?
Nothing, because it was a soft drink.
Doorbell rings at 3am.
Husband, irritated gets up and opens the door to an obviously drunk man. The drunk says, “Could you give me a push?” Husband says, “Hello no,” slams the door. His wife says, “Don’t you remember when we were stranded on the side of the road and people stopped to help us? Go help the poor man.” The husband goes back to the door, doesn’t see the man. He yells, “Do you still need a push?” He hears the drunk say, “Yes please.” Husband says, “Where are you?” Drunk says, “Over here on the swings.”
A man looks over his fence, sees his neighbor digging a hole in the back garden.
Says, “What are you up to?” Neighbor says, “Oh, I’m digging a hole for my dead hamster.” Guy says,. “Sorry to hear that, but why make the hole so big?” Neighbor says, “Because it’s inside your cat.”
U.S. NEWS
NEW YORK CITY BANS HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES
City council says neigh.
MAN TAPED WIFE TO CHAIR SO HE COULD WATCH FOOTBALL
Unnecessary roughness
POLLING COMPANIES UNDER SCRUTINY
This story: 68% positive, 26% negative, 6% unsure.
WOMAN DID NOT SHARE BOYFRIEND’S LOVE OF WEARING DIAPERS
This year’s creepy diaper-man story.
HERO STOPS RUNAWAY SCHOOL BUS
Total Indiana Jones vibe.
HOW TO WIN AT MONOPOLY
There are no winners in Monopoly.
WOMAN SWIMS 900-MILES CALIFORNIA COASTLINE
In the swim of things.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
LONDONERS USE E-BIKES FOR JOUSTING
How British.
JAPANESE SHOE INSOLE THIEF CAUGHT
♫♪ He’s a sole man… ♪♪
CANDIDATE WINS DESPITE GAG CAMPAIGN SIGNS
“I barely want to do this.”
FIRST DRONE EVACUATION OF A SOLDIER EVER
Ukraine does it again.
THE GREAT DUTCH BARBERSHOP WAR
♪♫ Shave and a haircut, BAM BOOM!! ♪♪
BRITISH MAN’S DYING WISH: KISS A COW
Before he buys the farm, he wanted to visit it.
LOST FLUTE RECOVERED AFTER 5 YEARS IN A RIVER
You’re darn tootin’.
TEEN WAKES UP IN COFFIN AT HER OWN FUNERAL
You only live twice.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Totally Metal Fork
I Loves My Eels
“Professor, you’ve outdone yourself.” – Gilligan
Deer Snails
Comfortable Seats
Breakfast Of Champions
THE BUZZ
UNPOPULAR OPINIONS
You’re wrong.
SURVEY: AVERAGE AMERICAN SETS FOUR ALARMS TO WAKE UP
Snooze you lose.
DUMB HEADLINES
Have listeners vote for the dumbest one.
THE WORST THING SOMEONE HAS DONE IN YOUR HOUSE
And you wonder why we never have people over.
WALKERS LIVE 16 YEARS LONGER
So take the stairs.
21% HAVE BAILED ON AN ANNOYING TRAVEL COMPANION
And not just on the honeymoon.
GOOGLE’S TOP-SEARCHED HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR 2026
Yeah, we had to look up who they were, too.
HALLOWEEN CANDY IS GETTING SMALLER
And Leo is getting laaaaarrrrger.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
CLAYFACE
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
WILDWOOD
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
WICKER
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
A TALENT FOR MURDER
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
THE PUNCHIN PATCH
Support local farmers.
PROPOSITION 20: SAY NO, VOTE YES
Or is it say Yes, vote No?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 23.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR 2026
Will you survive the horror? Oh, wait – you already have.
A & M AUTOLAND – Stilts
This might be the only time Big Mike actually looked up to Big Al.
SLASHER TELEPORTER
So THAT’S how they do it.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 16.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Contest
Al and Mike won’t play games with you like other car dealers. They’ll play MORE.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 9.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Inspection
Al and Mike try to hook you with their new offer.
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