Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
DOLLY PARTON OPENS TRUCK STOP
You coulda fueled me.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
POP SONGS GETTING MEANER
Degradation +52%… Harm +49%… Cheating +48%…
BAILEY ZIMMERMAN ARRESTED FOR TRASHING HOTEL ROOM
Morgan Wallen, look over your shoulder.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
NETFLIX TO MAKE A “SESAME STREET” MOVIE
Now all we need is a plot.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Why was the baby doctor angry?
He had little patience.
What type of pants do ghost hunters wear?
Just a paranormal jeans.
Does R2-D2 have any brothers?
No. Only trans-sisters.
Did you know the head of IKEA was elected president of Sweden?
He is currently assembling his Cabinet.
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
U.S. NEWS
COCAINE FALLS OUT OF WOMAN’S BUTT, SAYS IT’S NOT HERS
It’s snowing down south.
DENTURES DISCOVERED IN CHEESESTEAK
What’s the hubbub, GrubHub?
TSA FINDS SMOKE GRENADE IN JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER
Nice job, Skippy.
COLORADO MAN OPENS TRUCK DOOR, FINDS BEAR
Bad news – bear!
WEDDING PARTY SHOOTING OVER POOR MANNERS
For god’s sake, use a fork.
MEN CAUGHT BREAKING INTO PRISON
Unclear on the concept.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
STERILIZE YOUR CAR WITH UV LIGHT
A bit of the old ultraviolet.
MEXICAN BATMAN CATCHING, DUCT-TAPING MOTORBIKE THIEVES
Holy frijoles, Batman.
BANK ROBBER ESCAPES ON SCOOTER, TWICE
Gotta scoot, bye!
ROBOT TOILET COMES WHEN CALLED
How commodious.
BRITISH ICE CREAM STAND CLOSES DUE TO HEAT
They all scream.
THE WORLD’S LOUDEST PERSON: 122 DECIBELS
Loud and proud.
CITY GRANTS RIGHTS TO TREES
Freedom of beech.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Mom’s Trying To Tell Us Something With Her Meatloaf
Toilet Paper In Other Countries
Mickey Dolenz
Dancing With The Soccer Stars
Why Is This Man Smiling?
Beverage Service Is Awesome On This Flight
THE BUZZ
WHAT KIDS CALL THINGS
How adowahbul!
THE MOST UN-MOANABLE NAME
My name, apparently.
IF ONE SOUND COULD BE ELIMINATED
Now hear this.
LUXURY ITEMS THAT ARE A NIGHTMARE
Cancel that order on the European castle.
ENORMOUS NUMBER OF PEOPLE STILL LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS
And what ever happened to boarding houses?
MINOR HABITS LEAD TO BREAKUPS
Stop that!
DUMB HEADLINES
Have listeners vote for the dumbest one!
CURSES!
It should happen to you.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
MINIONS & MONSTERS
Starts Friday, August 1 in theaters.
JACKASS 5: BEST AND LAST
Starts Friday, June 26 in theaters.
SUPERGIRL
Starts Friday, June 26 in theaters.
TOY STORY 5
Starts Friday, June 19 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
A & M AUTOLAND – 4th of July
Big Mike wishes he could declare independence – from Big Al.
NEWSSTAND FIREWORKS 2026
Explosive headlines!
BI-PARTISAN BIDET (CLEAN VERSION)
Stay clean no matter which way you lean!
BI-PARTISAN BIDET (UNCENSORED VERSION)
Warning: This is the naughty version.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 26.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Minutes From Anywhere
You’re only minutes from A&M. Just don’t ask how many.
THE DEATH OF ROBIN HOOD
It’s right there in the title.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 19.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – LEMONS
A & M Autoland has more lemons than ever before!
NON-TRADITIONAL FATHER’S DAY
Or, rather, Fathers’ Day.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 12.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
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