ZOMBIE HUNTER ALMOST KILLS A GUY

Ryan Stanislaw was arrested last Saturday after allegedly firing a rifle into a home while “hunting zombies” at around 5 a.m. in North St. Paul, Minnesota. Police say a bullet from an AR-15 rifle shattered the window of Ken Quaale, who was asleep at the time. Luckily, the bullet narrowly missed Quaale’s head, ricocheting off the walls of his bedroom. Stanislaw, 24, allegedly told police he was simply out “making sure my neighborhood is safe” and that he was aiming at “a zombie.” He was also carrying bullets marketed as anti-zombie ammunition. Stanislaw’s mother says her son has no history of mental illness. He was charged with a firearm violation.
* No history of mental illness, but hey, there’s a first time for everything.
* Well, if he wants to make his neighborhood safe, he’s going about it all wrong.
* The best thing he could do for his neighborhood is move.
* That is after he gets out of prison.
* Idiot! Everybody knows the BIG zombie infestation is in WEST St. Paul.
* Oh, he has the anti-zombie ammunition for his rifle? This guy thought of everything.
* You have to admit: 5 a.m. is the ideal time to hunt zombies. Sure, catch them when they’re drowsy.
* ‘Course, it’s hard to attract zombies when you have no brains.