ZIMBABWEAN WIZARD USED ANOTHER MAN’S PENIS TO IMPREGNATE WOMEN

(Here’s the story, pretty much as it appeared on a news website out of Ghana called Kasatintin.)
A 33-year-old Zimbabwean, Peter Runako, has been fined for using another man’s penis to impregnate three women. The victim, a businessman whose name has been withheld, complained of sexual weakness a day after he returned from visiting his sick mother. He said, “I felt my manhood was dead since I couldn’t have an affair with my wife when I came home. I was worried but my partner assured me that everything will be fine.” His wife called her pastor and the pastor told them someone had been using the man’s penis for illicit business at night. They managed to track down Peter Runako, the perpetrator, who, the victim claimed, “has caused my sexual weakness.” Runako was summoned by the elders of the town due to the complaint by the couple. Runako confessed to being a wizard and said that he had been contracted by a family member to mount spiritual attacks on the businessman. Said Mr. Runako, “At the witches camp we decided that we will waste his sperms. I used his manhood to impregnate three women. We fully executed our plans when he visited the village.” As punishment, the elders fined him $12 Zimbabwe dollars, a bottle of Schnapps and 3 goats. The businessman’s sexual potency has been restored after Runako made a sacrifice to the gods.
* Maybe some details of this story were lost in the translation? But I doubt it.
* That’s nasty behavior for a wizard. I’ll bet he’s from Slytherin House.
* For a businessman, he needs to keep a closer watch on his business.
* Sure, we laugh at other cultures, but try explaining America’s need to turn cooking into a TV competition to a Zimbabwean.
* Anyway, we now return you to the 21st Century.