WASHINGTON, D.C. POLICE TO GET POTTY TRAINING

The Capitol Police force – the officers whose job it is to protect our elected senators and representatives – are about to start potty training. There have been three recent incidents where Capitol Police officers left their guns in a public restroom. One officer assigned to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell had stuffed his Glock and a magazine into a holder containing toilet seat covers in a Capitol bathroom stall. Another officer left a weapon in the restroom of House Speaker John Boehner. A third officer abandoned a weapon in a restroom at the U.S. Capitol Police headquarters. U.S. Capitol Police Chief Kim Dine says they are now providing additional training on “what to do when you have to go the bathroom.”
* Yep, definitely sound like government employees.
* Also on the agenda; how to handle their nightstick.
* It’s only right that the public become privy to this information.
* Just have them watch the scene in the Godfather where they leave a gun in the restroom for Michael Corleone to find.
* How about a little buzzer that beeps when you leave your gun behind?
* Or put them on strings that go up your sleeves, like little kids’ mittens.
* I’m just trying to help here.
* What a coincidence. You know what the boss did when he found out? It rhymes with “sit.”
* The good news? It’s taken some of the heat off the Secret Service stories.