THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T EAT AFTER THE AGE OF 30

According to “Eat This, Not That,” here are foods you should not eat after the age of 30. The reasons: high in salt, low in nutrition, too much sugar, not enough vitamins, risks of cancer… the usual suspects.
– Flavored yogurt
– Canned soup
– Breakfast pastries
– Charred meat
– Soda
– Oreos
– Alcohol
– Bagels and white bread
– Chinese takeout
– Veggie burgers
– Iced coffee
– Sugar-free snacks
– Fruit loaded with pesticides
– Margarine
– Frozen diet meals
– Bacon
– Pancake syrup
– Cheese dips
– Soy sauce
– Salami
– Chips
– Sports drinks
– Processed peanut butter
– Weight-loss bars
– Boxed mac and cheese
– Canned fruit
– Processed spaghetti sauce
– Coffee creamer
* Oh, well – time to start avoiding the “Fruit Loaded With Pesticides” bin in the produce section.
* You know what this leaves, right? Kale. Freaking kale.
* So what they’re saying is, just kill me now.
* This was, literally, my entire day’s menu yesterday.
* Like the staff at “Eat This, Not That” doesn’t put these lists together around a table loaded with McDonald’s shakes and Cinnabons.
* My message to them: “Bite This, Not That.”