THE STATE DEPARTMENT REMINDS YOU THAT YOU ARE UGLY

The US State Department wants you to keep in mind just how attractive you are while traveling abroad for spring break. A tweet from the @TravelGov account on Wednesday afternoon read, in its entirety: “Not a ‘10’ in the US? Then not a 10 overseas. Beware of being lured into buying expensive drinks or worse – being robbed. #springbreakingbadly.” What they are trying to convey is, if you are not attractive in the US, you do not get any more attractive in a foreign country, so don’t let any con artists convince you otherwise.
* Except for, maybe, Samoa.
* This travel tip was prompted by the head of the Singapore Travel Bureau, Miso Hohney.
* A con artist trying to sweet-talk me out of my money? Yeah, that’ll happen.
* Firstly, I don’t have any money. Secondly, I’m not going overseas, ’cause I don’t have any money.
* Sounds like someone at the State Department got jilted by a gigolo.
* Do you ever get the feeling the government is intruding too much into our lives?
* I’m not going to take hook-up advice from the people who gave us our policy in Syria.
* How about this? We’ll decide what to do on vacation and you guys solve the 19 trillion dollar debt. Okay?
* Now we have the official state department tweet? Sigh. To have lived so long.
* These government workers should get back to what they do best: looking at internet porn all day.