POLICE SEEK AXE CLOWN

In Hickory. North Carolina, a warrant is out for the arrest of an axe-wielding clown. Police received a call at 4:30 a.m. Friday about a clown with an axe. When police arrived on the scene, the victim said the suspect came by her residence wearing a clown mask and a multicolored wig. The clown then began swinging an axe and attempted to cut the victim. The victim told police that she was able to remove the clown’s mask and discovered that it was an acquaintance of hers named Jimmy Raybon. The suspect then left the victim’s residence. The woman was not injured during the incident.
* This is why you should always keep a bottle of seltzer by the bed – clown repellent.
* Life in Hickory, North Carolina is a real circus.
* Jimmy Raybon? Yeah, but what’s his clown name? Choppy the Clown? Slicey the Clown?
* This guy sounds like a real Bozo.
* Actually, he sounds more like that clown serial-killer guy John Wayne Gacy.
* Watch a special on that sometime – you’ll never go to the circus again.
* He should be easy to track … what with those giant clown shoes and everything.
* How about a little respect for the woman? She’s dodging an axe and she tears off the clown’s mask? How bad-ass is that?