POLICE ARREST MAN WHOSE DOG TESTED POSITIVE FOR METH

Police have arrested a 21-year-old Southern California man on animal cruelty charges after his pet Chihuahua tested positive for the drug methamphetamine. Isaiah Sais (* What a great name!) of Fontana, brought the Chihuahua, named Jack Sparrow, suffering from convulsions and seizures to a veterinarian on July 5. When the dog tested positive for methamphetamine, Sais left the building with him, declining the veterinarian’s request to treat the dog. Animal Services went to Sais’s house shortly after this and seized the dog, which was still suffering and showing other signs of neglect. Jack Sparrow is currently recovering at an animal hospital.
* A Chihuahua on meth. I know, I know – how can you tell?
* How the hell does a Chihuahua pay for meth?
* And how does the drug deal work?
“Yo. What are you looking for?”
“Bark!”
“Come again? Was that ‘meth’ or ‘coke’?”
“Bark!”
“Okay, this isn’t working. Can you write it down?”
* It looked like a Chihuahua, but before the meth it was a basset hound.
* Ironically, the dog Jack Sparrow is still doing better than Johnny Depp right now.
* There’s your next Animal Planet show: “Pet Rehab.”
* They knew the Chihuahua was high on drugs when it attacked a pit bull.
* The dog still barks a lot, but now it barks really fast.
* Plus, it will only play fetch with a syringe.