MONDAY ALMANAC – Nov 9
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
FRANKIE MUNIZ IN DAYTONA CAR WRECK
Life is unfair.
AI CELEBRITIES TO STAR IN COMMERCIALS THEY DIDN’T FILM
“Hi, I’m George Clooney for Spaghetti-O’s.”
AUDIO: TWO MORE HARRY POTTER BOOKS COMING
Milkus Cashcowus!
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
STEVEN SPIELBERG MIGHT BE DIRECTING A BROADWAY MUSICAL
♫ We need a bigger boooooat… ♪♫
AU REVOIR, WAHLBURGERS
But not goodbye.
AUDIO: WKRP TO DROP TURKEYS AGAIN
Oh, the humanity.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Where do lions go for a solo Spanish vacation?
Catalonia.
A wife says to her husband, “Honey, I’m backing the car into the garage. Can you please let me know when I hit the wall?”
Husband says, “Sure, go ahead.” Bang! The car hits the back of the garage. The husband says, “It’s 2:45 pm.”
A man walks into a hardware store.
He says, “Do you have any of those round batteries?”
The hardware store clerk says, “Is it for a clock?” Guy says, “I don’t know, that’s why I need the batteries.”
Why was it taking so long to count the election ballots in Mississippi?
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…
What’s worse than a box full of snakes?
A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.
U.S. NEWS
TEXAS ZOO WAS TOO SCARY ON HALLOWEEN
Boo at the Zoo is koo-koo.
HORSES ON A BUS
Two-horse bus in a one-horse town.
MAN ATTACKED WITH SAUERKRAUT BY HIS EXES
It was a run-by krauting.
MAN DRIVES FROM NEW MEXICO TO NEW JERSEY TO SHOOT UP A STREET
Wort Cannonball Run ever.
PARENT OF LOSING H.S. FOOTBALL TEAM DEFECATES IN WINNING SCHOOL’S HALLWAY
Backfield in motion.
THE IN-HOME PATROL DRONE
The surveillance state marches on.
WOMAN, HOUSE, SNAKE, BRICK: FLORIDA!
The most Florida story ever, this week. But it is only Tuesday.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
GUESS THE PYGMY HIPPOPOTAMUS SEX
There better be just two choices.
3,000 TARANTULAS IN SOCKS ON A PLANE
They’ll never think to check the socks.
JAPANESE MAN TRIED TO STRANGLE ADULT SON WITH PANTS
Good thing they were loose fit.
RUSSIA WANTS TO BAN PIZZA FROM SCHOOL LUNCHES
♪♫ Когда луна светит тебе в глаза, словно огромная пицца-пирожная ♪♪
TALIBAN DESTROYS A TON OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, CALLS THEM “IMMORAL”
I want that old time rock & roll… to BURN!!!
PIZZA CHEF FIRED FOR REFUSING TO PUT PINEAPPLE ON A PIE
His loyalty to his culture should be admired, the schmuck.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
North Dakota Snow Tires
Safety Fourth
Punk Rock Duck
Demure Chair
Beach Camo
Forest Camo
THE BUZZ
STUDY: CATS WANT HUMANS TO SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS
And do their taxes.
BEHIND THE SCENES OF REALITY TV
Or rather, “reality” tv,
DUMB HEADLINES
Discuss their dumbness,then have listeners vote for the dumbest.
OTHER PEOPLE ARE WEIRD
Tales from the strange side of hell.
FINANCIAL SECRETS SURVEY
You’re not alone, you deadbeat.
POST OFFICE ANNOUNCES MAIL-BY DATES
Have you been P.O.’d lately?
AUDIO: LACK OF SLEEP MAKES YOU ANTI-SOCIAL
And, it’s contagious.
MAKING SPORTS FUNNIER
What if every sport had bananaball rules?
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
EBENEZER
Starts Friday, November 13 in theaters.
HOW TO ROB A BANK
Starts Friday, November 13 in theaters.
GHOST SOLDIER
Starts Friday, November 13 in theaters.
DRUMMER BOY
Starts Friday, November 6 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Thesaurus Sale
Al and Mike – big words … small brains.
OLD CAR SMELL
Smells like old times.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, November 6.
OFFENAUER MATTRESS STORE
Sorry about this one.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Jingle
The singers on Al’s new jingle don’t leave any room for Mike to talk. Which might be just as well.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 30.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
SONG: IT’S ELECTION TIME
The Nightmare Before Tuesday.
A & M AUTOLAND – HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS
Al and Mike’s new promotion isn’t too bright – but the burning car is!
THE PUNCHIN PATCH
Support local farmers.
PROPOSITION 20: SAY NO, VOTE YES
Or is it say Yes, vote No?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 23.
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