MAN TRIES TO ROB 7-11 WITH FINGER GUN

A Medford, Oregon, man attempted to rob a convenience store by holding his hand in the shape of a gun. The 60-year-old man pointed his finger and asked the store clerk for $50 and a pack of cigarettes. The store clerk was unconvinced, and that the man left without anything for his efforts. He was arrested on suspicion of third-degree robbery.
* On the way out, he pointed a different finger at the store clerk.
* Cops ran him down to the station house and asked him to mime sitting in a jail cell.
* Maybe it was an invisible space gun.
* “Stand back. This finger is loaded. With callouses.”
* He was 60? Maybe he forgot his real gun at home and was having a Senior Moment.
* When the hand in the shape of a gun didn’t work, he used both hands and threatened to lock the store clerk in the church with the steeple where you open the doors and see all the people.
* Do you realize how bad you are as a criminal when you can’t even frighten a store clerk?
* “I find your performance completely unconvincing.” Sounds more like a theater critic.
* “Oh, and the second act needs rewriting. Especially the scene where you don’t really have a gun.”