MAN ROBS CONVENIENCE STORE WITH A ROCK

A man armed with a sharp rock threatened a clerk at a Manchester, New Hampshire, convenience store and got away with cash. A witness said he saw a clerk and the robber tumble out of the Shop-N-Go shortly after noon Tuesday. The witness said the robber was crying when he fled. The robber apologized as he ran away and said he needed the cash.
* Sounds like he was stoned.
* At least the clerk didn’t get stoned!
* It was hardly a stick up. More like a rock up.
* It’s a good thing he wasn’t a little bolder.
* The robber was apologizing and crying? Gee, imagine how sad he’d have been if he DIDN’T get any money!
* He practically dropped the rock and got down on his knees to gravel.
* Crying and apologizing. As if that makes robbing the place less bad.
* The clerk tried his best, but all he had was paper and rock beats paper.
* Wow, using stones as weapons. That’s old school.
* And by old school I mean thousands of years ago.
* Too bad the clerk didn’t fight back with a David and Goliath-style slingshot.
* The store is now upgrading their security. They’re installing a catapult.
* Hey, at least give the clerk a musket.