MAN CALLS 911 ASKING HOW MANY LEGS AN OCTOPUS HAS

Police in Rock Hill, South Carolina, arrested a man after he called 911 multiple times, harassing dispatchers. John Barron, 69, first called 911 just after 11 p.m. Wednesday, asking the dispatcher how many legs an octopus has. When officers arrived at his home, they found Barron to be intoxicated and warned him not to call 911 again unless it was for an emergency. But about 30 minutes later, he called 911 again asking if the Russian alphabet was the same as the English alphabet. When officers arrived at Barron’s home this time, he was not wearing any pants. Officers helped Barron get dressed and placed him under arrest.
* Somebody teach this guy how to use Google.
* Never, never let the Rock Hill 911 operator be your phone-a-friend in “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” They don’t know anything.
* How many legs does an octopus have? It depends on how hungry the shark was.
* Boy, in South Carolina, they arrest you just for trying to get edumacated.
* Is the Russian alphabet the same as the English alphabet? The answer is: Yes, it will be if Hillary wins tomorrow. (Or, depending on your political bend) Yes, it will be if Trump wins tomorrow.
* We get wasted in steps, don’t we?
* I mean it doesn’t just happen. There are 5 or 6 stops on the journey. Then you get to the place where you have to take off your pants.
* The sad part is, by then, you’re so wasted that taking your clothes off seems like the logical next step – it’s what you want to do.
* It’s the kind of thinking that often ends up in the back of a squad car.