MAN ARRESTED FOR EATING MULCH

Deputies in Laurel County, Kentucky, arrested a 38-year-old man after they received a complaint that he was eating mulch. Deputies arrested Johnny Wayne Hurt at a motel off Highway 770 last Tuesday night. They found Hurt in a room that was destroyed. Dresser drawers were on the floor, and the bed mattresses were off the bed and against the wall. Hurt was under the influence of drugs, police said. Hurt is charged with public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and criminal mischief.
* Also, with imitating a termite.
* This is what a high fiber diet will get ya.
* He was barking mad, I tell you.
* Mulch: It’s the gateway drug to Potting Soil.
* In a case like this, do you call a doctor? Or Lawn Doctor?
* Johnny Wayne Hurt? More like Tummy Will Hurt.
* Johnny Wayne Hurt: I like how they give him the serial killer treatment.
* Maybe he got mulch confused with munch.
* I know it’s the worst case of munchies I’ve ever seen.
* Prison food is going to seem like gourmet fare after this.