INSTANT COFFEE PROMISES ERECTIONS

An instant coffee that promises instant erections has been criticized by health experts. The company, Maryland-based Stiff Bull, claims a cupful of the exotic herbs-packed drink will make guys “stay harder longer.” According to the website, the coffee contains a blend of ingredients such as – tongkat Ali, maca root, and guarana. The makers say “These herbs grow wild in the jungles of Malaysia and have been used for centuries by the people of Asia and South America to greatly improve sexual health, libido, and overall wellness. The combination of these ingredients produces an awesome effect that can last up to 2 – 3 days.” There’s one drawback: the U.S. Food and Drug Administration added it to its list of Tainted Sexual Enhancement Products. It warns consumers should not to drink it because it contains desmethyl carbodenafil, a chemical that is similar to the active ingredient in Viagra but is not listed on the packaging. The FDA warns: “This undeclared ingredient may interact with nitrates found in some prescription drugs such as nitroglycerin and may lower blood pressure to dangerous levels. It could be especially dangerous to men with diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or heart disease who often take nitrates.”
* As usual, the FDA doesn’t want anybody having any fun.
* Could you make the coffee and just stick your wiener in it?
* After the coffee cooled down, of course. I mean, I’m not STUPID.
* Anybody else think it’s scary that “Tainted Sexual Enhancement Products” has its own category at the FDA?
* What is Stiff Bull’s ad slogan? I can think of a few:
– “The best part of waking… ‘up’.”
– “Mountain grown, mountain growing.”
– “Full to the rim”.
– “We’ve replaced his regular coffee with Stiff Bull. Let’s see if he notices.”
– “Start with Stiff Bull for the big day ahead.”
* No thanks. I’m just trying to get MYSELF up in the morning.
* I don’t like the term “instant erections.” It sounds like you could do a back flip out the window.
* The coffee comes in Venti, Grande and Porn Star.
* For even bigger results, drink it black.
* It’ll give you a 2 or 3 day erection? I haven’t had 2 or 3 days worth of sex in my entire life.
* So I guess it’s time to start.