GOOD NEWS: THE OSCARS WILL BE EVEN LONGER THIS YEAR!
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
BRITNEY SPEARS ARRESTED FOR DUI
Oops, she did it again.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
PINOCCHIO: THE HORROR MOVIE
No lie.
JOHN TRAVOLTA GETS ANOTHER PILOT’S LICENSE
With Travolta on the stick, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
ACTOR AWARD WINNERS
Some you know, some you don’t.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
TIMES SQUARE NAKED COWBOY, COWGIRL GETTING DIVORCED
Give me some space, cowboy.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Guy goes into the confession booth.
He says, “Father, I just committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. I was angry and envious of my neighbor, so I lazily made love to his wife, and then ate all of his groceries. And I didn’t share anything.”
Priest says, “You forgot pride.”
Guy says, “No, I’m pretty proud of myself for this.”
Guy goes to the battery store and says,”I need two C Batteries”.
The counter guy points to the shelf and said “There, just look at them”.
What’s leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
How do you unlock a banana?
With a monkey.
What does a ghost like to drink?
Boos.
U.S. NEWS
WOMAN HOLDS SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR HUSBAND AT COSTCO
Surprise! Albacore Tuna, $17.99 for 6 cans (limit 30).
HAZMAT INCIDENT AT DISNEYLAND’S STAR TOURS
And I thought it smelled bad on the outside.
NUDE BURGLAR
Bad news bare.
ANOTHER FISH TOURNAMENT CHEATER
Weight, weight, don’t tell me.
QUICKSAND!
Avoid it.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
WIFE-CARRYING RACE
Carry on.
MALAYSIAN MAN HAS 10 EXTRA TEETH
Long in the tooth.
PARALYMPIC CURLING STONES STOLEN
Because there’s such a high demand for them?
LASER MOSQUITO KILLER
The Mosquitonator.
LOUVRE DIRECTOR RESIGNS AFTER OCTOBER HEIST
She is louvreing.
SEAGULL HIT BY SOCCER BALL, PLAYER SAVES THE DAY
The bird was not a dead duck.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Ant Bridge
Goat Ate My Homework
Another Snow Shark Victim
Just Yell
Rub Mah Belly!
Muddy Buddy
THE BUZZ
THE HAPPIEST CITIES IN THE US
(sigh) You’d know it if you lived there.
HOT DOG VS. HAMBURGER
Throwdown!
THE TOP 50 SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE
[That you can say on the radio.]
ITEMS LEFT IN PATIENTS AFTER SURGERY
Anybody seen my Sharpie?
SHARK ATTACKS ON THE RISE
Bigger boat, and all that.
OUR WEIRD AND WONDERFUL BODIES
For godsakes, see a doctor.
DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, vote for the dumbest.
THIS MARRIAGE WILL NEVER LAST
Maybe it’s best not to have a wedding cake.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
UNDERTONE
Starts Friday, March 13 in theaters.
REMINDERS OF HIM
Starts Friday, March 13 in theaters.
THE BRIDE
Starts Friday, March 6 in theaters.
HOPPERS
Starts Friday, March 6 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
A & M AUTOLAND – Anniversary
Sometimes, anniversaries are joyous occasions. Sometimes not.
ADOLESCENT MOTIVATION CENTER
Tried and true methods that work!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 6.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – EZLease
Sorry, but with Al and Mike, nothing is ever easy.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, Fedbruary 27.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
MAIL SNOW
A simple plan.
A & M AUTOLAND – Day Two
It’s Day Two of A&M’s Big Sale starting next week!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, February 20.
OLYMPIC UPDATE #11 – SNOWBOARD CROSS (for 2/20)
For Friday, February 20.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
OLYMPIC UPDATE #10 – SPEED SKATING (for 2/19)
For Thursday, February 19.
A & M AUTOLAND – Voice Mail
Big Al never quite gets the message.
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