FAMILY DOLLAR ASSISTANT MANAGER ROBS OWN STORE

The assistant manager of a Family Dollar store in Colorado Springs, Colorado, is accused of robbing his own store and binding two employees with duct tape. The robbery happened just before 9:30 p.m. last Wednesday. One of the employees was able to provide detailed descriptions of the suspect, which led them to Martellius Bryant, 30, the store’s assistant manager. Bryant was arrested after he returned to the scene. (* “Hi! Did I miss anything?”) Police later searched his home and found items taken in the robbery – including cash.
* What, did they find the stolen dollar?
* Well, forget any chance of ever making manager.
* This was dumb. He should have used a British accent during the robbery to throw them off.
* They had detailed descriptions, like phone number, address, Social Security Number …
* On the bright side, the duct tape at the Family Dollar was really cheap.
* Why not rob the competing Dollar Tree store across the street?
* Maybe this Bryant guy would do better to try and fake his own kidnapping.
* You have to admit there’s one good thing about robbing your own store: It’s convenient.
* I mean who wants to commute to work and then commute to the robbery? Combine the two and you’ll save a lot of hassle.
* In fact, this guy should be recognized for energy conservation.
* But seriously, I just wonder how a person this dumb ever landed a job like assistant manager at a Dollar Store?
* If they hired this clown, imagine the people they didn’t hire.