DUI SUSPECT: 'MY DOG WAS DRIVING'

A Tampa, Florida, deputy spotted a white car speeding through a residential neighborhood on Sunday morning. Instead of pulling over when requested, the driver took off down the street but promptly drove into a ditch, then through another ditch and finally directly into a neighborhood home. He then bolted from the vehicle, and ran down the street into a church – but not before inexplicably taking off his T-shirt and leaving it on the street outside. Church-goers reportedly forced the man out, where he was subsequently apprehended. As the deputy put him in cuffs, he began shouting, “I wasn’t driving the car! My dog was driving the car.” Then he started vomiting. The man, Reliford Cooper, was arrested and taken to jail.
* I don’t understand. If the dog was driving why did they arrest the man?
* Oh, I see. Maybe they don’t believe his story.
* The best way to get a dog to pull over is to offer him a treat.
* At least the car wasn’t being driven by Toonses – it would have been a much worse crash.
* Church-goers forced him out because the sign clearly said “No Shirts, No Shoes, No Savior.”
* Wasted people in trouble with the law often take off their t-shirts. If you’ve ever watched that “Cops” show you know this already.
* The man stuck to his story. As he was arrested he asked his dog to drive the car home for him.
* I hate it when they place those ditches exactly where we’re trying to drive.