DOCTORS TO PRESCRIBE WALKING, COOKING CLASSES FOR LONELY PEOPLE

Doctors in England will be able to write prescriptions for cooking classes and walking groups as part of the government’s effort to combat loneliness. Prime Minister Theresa May on Monday described loneliness as “one of the greatest public health challenges of our time,” saying it is linked with a range of illnesses, including heart disease, stroke and Alzheimer’s disease. The government says around 200,000 older people across the country haven’t had a conversation with a friend or relative in more than a month. (* Hey, how do I get on THAT program?) The government’s anti-loneliness strategy calls for “social prescribing,” which will allow doctors to recommend group activities such as cooking classes, walking groups and art clubs, instead of medication.
* Take two laps around the park and call me in the morning.
* It’s a good time to invest in Bingo suppliers.
* The medical name for the condition is Getoffyourarse-itis.
* Wait – there’s medication for loneliness? What does it do – make you see people who aren’t there?
* Cooking class. So when it’s over, you end up still lonely AND obese.