CRUISE SHIP HAS WHALE CARCASS STUCK TO ITS BOW

Princess Cruise Lines’ Grand Princess cruise ship arrived at port in Ketchikan, Alaska, Wednesday morning with the carcass of a humpback whale stuck on its bow. The whale, which appeared to be a juvenile, had to be removed from the bow by a tugboat. Princess officials said in a statement that they were “surprised and saddened” by Wednesday’s discovery, noting that the company has whale-avoidance programs which require changing course and speed as needed. Officials are going to have the whale carcass towed to a nearby location suitable for a necropsy to determine the cause of death.
* Somebody call the whale coroner.
* I’m thinking the cause of death might have been the bow of the cruise ship.
* The Grand Princess … of DEATH!
* For the whale, this was no Carnival.
* Whales: the traffic cones of the sea.
* It’s sad, but there’s no need for the spokesperson to get all blubbery.
* (Thump) “Captain, did you feel something?” “Probably just an iceberg. I wouldn’t worry.”
* The Whale Avoidance Program was developed by crew members trying to avoid passengers near the buffet on the Lido deck.