BLOOD RUNS DOWN WALLS, BODY DISCOVERED UPSTAIRS

The body of a 27-year-old man was found in the bed of a Chinatown, New York, apartment after his blood started seeping through the ceiling and into a downstairs hair salon. “I told the landlord, ‘I think someone is dead upstairs,’” said Caridad Albarodo, owner of the Grace Unisex hair salon. “There was blood coming down from the second floor. I was sure somebody was dead upstairs because that’s not normal.” Police responded to the Essex Street apartment and discovered the corpse in a bedroom. Neighbors said the man was a construction worker who had recently become unemployed. A cause of death was not immediately clear.
* Er … blood loss?
* The clot thickens.
* As they say in the hair business, nothing’s worse than a sloppy die job.
* He had “recently become unemployed”? Well, that’s one way of putting it.
* He’s now unemployed from the universe.
* The downstairs tenant said it wasn’t normal to have blood dripping down? Well, that’s reassuring.
* “Sure, we hear screams, and an occasional gunshot, but blood dripping down? That’s not normal.”
* The hairdresser went on to describe the scene as like living under a Quentin Tarantino movie.
* What did she tell her customers sitting in the chairs? “Relax, it’s a spaghetti sauce factory upstairs.”
* So while they were doing permanents in the hair salon, this guy was doing a permanent upstairs.
* “You’re going to need a bigger mop.”