AUDIO: COUPLE HELD HOSTAGE BY THEIR CAT
A Greenfield, Wisconsin, woman called 911 to report that they were being held prisoner … by their cat. The woman told the 911 operator: “This is gonna sound like a strange question but we have a cat and it’s going crazy and it attacked my husband and we’re kind of hostage in our house and we’re just wondering who we should call to do something, get rid of the cat or help us.” The cat was turned over to the Milwaukee Area Domestic Animal Control Commission and no one was seriously hurt.
* “That’s it, lady. Read it just like I wrote it.”
* The cat is going, “Don’t make any sudden moves or I’ll pee on the carpet.”
* Instead of singing “Meow, meow, meow, meow …” this cat sings “Kill, kill, kill, kill …”
* What a couple of pussies.
* How do we know the husband is still alive? Gimme proof, damn it!
* Is it on YouTube? It would make a nice change from those cutesy cat videos.
* So, there’s the Milwaukee Area Domestic Animal Control Commission. An alternative might have been the NRA.
* Hello, they’re called tennis rackets.
* Or any other suitable weapon.
* Look, we didn’t get to be the dominant species on this planet by hiding from our pets.
* Sure, cat lovers: you love your cat but just imagine how it’d treat you if it was the size of a mountain lion.
CLIP: The 911 call.
