ASTRONAUT SCOTT KELLY BREAKS DAYS IN SPACE RECORD

Astronaut Scott Kelly is breaking spaceflight records. Last Friday, Oct. 16, Kelly began his 383rd day living in space on the International Space Station, surpassing U.S. astronaut Mike Fincke’s record of 382 cumulative days. Kelly will break another record Oct. 29 on his 216th consecutive day in space, when he will surpass astronaut Michael Lopez-Alegria’s record for the single-longest spaceflight by an American. Lopez-Alegria spent 215 days in space as commander of the Expedition 14 crew in 2006. Kelly is scheduled to return to Earth on March 3, 2016, by which time he will have compiled 522 total days living in space during four missions.
* No word from NASA on what exactly he’s accomplished.
* Here’s what I know about space station missions: Astronauts go up, then they come back. $150 billion dollars.
* If he stays up there much longer he won’t want to come back.
* He’s not that impressed with it. He just feels likes he’s been going around in circles.
* Great, this is the kind of accomplishment we have to settle for since the end of Apollo.
* As long as you’re up there ’til March you might as well skip the presidential campaign and stay till November.
* Okay, here’s the movie … he’s still up there when the earth gets wiped out by an asteroid … starring Matt Damon.